“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” - Aristotle

Perhaps my biggest personal change in the past few years has to become happier. I have recognized this for some time, and have had some idea of why the change has taken place. It was not until I began reading Happier, though, that I started to fully appreciate the changes I have undergone.

The Theory

In Happier, author Tal Ben-Shahar uses positive psychology to explain how people can become happier. In the following excerpt, Tal makes an important distinction between being happy and being happier:

We can always be happier; no person experiences perfect bliss at all times and has nothing more to which he can aspire. Therefore, rather than asking myself whether I am happy or not, a more helpful question is, “How can I become happier?” This question acknowledges the nature of happiness and the fact that its pursuit is an ongoing process best represented by an infinite continuum, not by a finite point.

Early on in the book, Tal discusses four archetypes, with each archetype describing a distinct pattern of attitudes and behaviors. These are:

1. Hedonism: hedonists live by the maxim “seek pleasure and avoid pain”. For them, present benefit is more important than any future detriment that may subsequently occur.
2. Rat Race: the rat racer is prepared to suffer now for the purpose of some anticipated gain. That is, their expected future benefit overrides any present detriment.
3. Nihilism: this describes a person who has given up on happiness, and for whom life holds no meaning.
4. Happiness: happy people are secure in the knowledge that the activities they enjoy in the present will also benefit them in the future.

Characteristics of the above can found in all of us, to varying degrees and in different combinations. Indeed, as I reflect on my life it is apparent to me that I have gone through periods when each of these has been dominant.

My Life

During my early years of high school I was a typical rat racer. Good grades were important to me, and I probably missed out on having a lot of fun due to study. In my later years of high school, things went a bit awry. I became very unpopular, and my approach to life matched that of the nihilist.

In university, I discovered life could be fun. My life resembled that of the hedonist as I regularly indulged in heavy drinking and recreational drugs. I experienced temporary feeling of pleasure, but this would give way to hangovers and comedowns (and obviously was not doing me much good in the medium to long term).

As I have previously written about, my wake up call came 16 months ago when I got the unexpected news I was to be a dad. I slowly started to get my life into order, and I began the journey of self improvement that has brought me to the place I am today. What place is this? It is a place where I can, without reservation, call myself happier.

These days I enjoy the simpler things in life, such as writing, spending time with my family, and golfing. And I also live with purpose. Through this blog, and indeed with my life, I want to make the world a better place. When I work, I know that I am providing for my family. At times I still enjoy hedonistic pleasures, and there are also times when I must put work first (like the rat racer), but these no longer dominate my life. And thankfully, the nihilist that once dominated my life seems long gone.

This is, of course, oversimplifying things. The important point, though, is this: these days I am a happy person because I enjoy positive emotions while perceiving my life as purposeful. The positive emotions give me pleasure in the here and now, whilst the sense of purpose gives my life meaning.

Examples of Happy People

How can present and future benefit be brought together? Here are 3 examples that Tal presents in Happier:

1. Students who love learning will derive present benefit from the pleasure they take in learning new ideas and future benefit from the ways in which these ideas will help them with their career.
2. Couples in romantic relationships can enjoy their company together and help each other grow and develop.
3. Professionals who do something they love - be it business, medicine, or art - can advance in their career while enjoying the journey.

Whilst the above examples may sound simple, I think for many people these could be an eye-opener as to how present and future benefit can be brought together. Achieving them is, of course, easier said then done. In his book, Tal spends a chapter on each of the above examples so there is certainly a lot more to say. For now, I believe that an awareness of how a happier life can look is a powerful force. Remember: better awareness leads to better choices, and better choices lead to better results.

Tags: Happiness, Life, Wellbeing //