7 Reasons Why You’re Not as Miserable as You Imagine

7 Reasons Why You’re Not as Miserable as You Imagine

Do you ever feel as though you’re at wit’s end? Do you keep wishing for some kind of break? Are you hoping that your life may eventually turn around for the better? We have good news: no matter how bleak your life outlook may be, that is ultimately a matter of perspective. And the good thing about perspective: once you change it, reality often follows suit.

No, we don’t mean to say that you may suddenly become enlightened. This is not to encourage you to remain idle waiting for some kind of magical secret to unfold. You are not to rely on the whims of the universe and get caught up in delusions, not unless you fail to miss the point.

The point of this article is showing you that you’re really not as miserable as you could imagine. The reasons why you are much better off than you think are quite obvious, once you become aware of them:

1: You have free will

It doesn’t matter if you have a lousy boss or romantic troubles, or ever-increasing financial distress. You may think that you’re stuck with your reality, and you may have bought into the notion that life just insists on handing you lousy cards. But it’s ultimately an illusion you have been refusing to let go.

Truth of the matter is that no one else is to blame for your predicaments, but yourself. While this may sound difficult to swallow, it’s actually one of the most liberating thoughts you can embrace. Because if you have been the main agent of your misery so far, it’s just a matter of learning how to stop bringing negativity into your life. Believe it or not, that’s a skill you can learn like any other.

Its workings can be subtle and confusing, but your free will can either be your prison or your liberation… depending on whether you realize that you are in charge of yourself.

2: You are not powerless

Sometimes it feels like there’s nothing you can do. In face of your lack of money, you cannot get all the things you want. Because you have a low self-esteem, you feel like you don’t get enough respect. Since everyone insists on pushing you around, you may even feel like there’s nothing to do but conforming.

The problem here is that you fail to realize what power really is. It’s not about the money you have or the influence you carry, or the authority you have amassed. Real power is about self-realization; it’s about connecting with your deepest potential. Once you start doing so, you will have activated the mechanisms through which you’ll get success, abundance and peer approval.

Rather than obsessing over your limitations, you need to work on your strengths and improve on your skills. You need to tap into your dormant inner power and learn to use it, and start building a new reality.

3: You don’t have to be a victim

If only it were as easy as snapping your fingers and suddenly being confident and feeling in charge… but that’s not how it works in the real world, sorry. We all get what we ask for; the problem is that we often fail to realize the signals we’re sending out to the world.

Awareness is the key. You need to start looking into the causes behind the effects. If you feel like you’re a victim of your circumstances, you need to realize exactly how you let that happen in the first place. The answers are inside you waiting to be found, as long as you get into the habit of asking yourself the right questions.

Ask yourself “Why do I feel like such a victim? What exactly can I do to change things around? What will it take for me to feel in charge of my life?” And remember, this is more about science than magic. The results you get depend on the efforts you put in.

4: You are alive

Is there a point to remind you that you’re alive? Isn’t obvious enough from the fact you’re breathing and reading this article? Yes and no. Because for every single one of us, life is the most amazing gift; and still, we keep looking for a better thing.

Since we keep looking for something “out there”, something “better”, something “real”, we utterly and irrevocably miss the point of it all. The point is that while you live, you are in the game. And right now you may feel like you’re losing and tomorrow something could happen out of the blue that turns you into a winner; or the other way around.

There are only three things that we know for sure about life: it has begun, it will end one day, and we should make the most of it while in between.

5: You are growing

While it may feel as though people keep judging you and putting you down, truth of the matter is that you’re likely the one setting those standards. It’s all too common for us human beings to carry a heavy load, to loathe ourselves in light of our past errors.

You need to learn to forgive yourself. You must somehow free yourself from the unreasonable demands you have subscribed to. There’s no point in trying to be perfect, because it’s not humanly possible. Instead, you need to focus on doing your very best each and every day.

You need to take stock of your errors and be proud of your mistakes. Because only when you tackle your shortcomings, do you stand a real chance of surpassing yourself: each and every day.

6: You can adapt

This is arguably the greatest triumph of mankind: not our amazing technological accomplishments, not our scientific sophistication; rather, our adaptability. Through it, we have grown vast civilizations and established our species as something quite apart of the base animal kingdom (for better and worse, it’s granted).

You too, can learn how to adapt to whatever difficulties happen to afflict you in the present moment. You too, can conceive of a figurative wheel that helps your life pick up a positive pace, or a fire that helps burn away your troubles. It’s actually the natural thing to do, and it’s part of your survival mechanisms. You’re genetically programmed to adapt to your environment.

Learn to pay attention to your instincts. Look around you for ways to not only overcome your problems but to seize opportunity. Pay attention to your surroundings and you will find all that you need to make a better tomorrow.

7: Change is always around the corner

An unknown wise man once said: “the hours drag on slowly, the years fly by in the blink of an eye”. A much known wise man called Albert Einstein also professed how: “putting your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.”

Perspective (awareness of relativity) is the ultimate blessing, and it comes to those who learn to detach their identity from their memory. Because memory is tied to localized circumstances, but your identity is a process. Identity is a glorious inner foundation one builds during a lifetime; memory is just a lens with which we haphazardly observe self. Put away the lens and observe the big picture of your life, and you’ll see no misery: only a person living and learning.

When you learn to take a step back and look at your life in perspective, you will know that change is always around the corner. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse; you don’t have to do anything and change will come about: but once you commit to overcoming your inner angst and building a new reality, you will be pleased with the results.

Photo by Katrina

Ryan Rivera

This guest post was brought to you by Ryan Rivera of Calm Clinic; come visit us if you want to know about the common causes of anxiety and get practical advice to help improve your quality of life!

Latest posts by Ryan Rivera (see all)

19 Comments

  1. So true Ryan. Life is all about our perspective. I know that when I am tired and jaded that my perspective is not the same as when I am refreshed and well rested.

    Reply
    • @Justin, I agree! The world would be a better place if we were all well rested.

      Reply
    • Justin totally agree with you. If we really want to overcome our own personal challenges with energy and enthusiasm focus should be placed on general health ; ) whenever we feel tired and drained emotions are harder to manage.

      Reply
  2. Best article I’ve read so far. Thank you. I’ll have to come back to it often to remind myself not to live a miserable existence.

    Reply
  3. Hi Ryan,
    We often underestimate ourselves and our situations. Always look for the good. Thankyou for this.
    be good to yourself
    David

    Reply
  4. What an excellent article and what impeccable timing, thank you! I have printed this to read and have handy for the times when I simply need to snap out of a particular state of mind, i.e. feeling a bit sorry for myself and not knowing what to do etc etc. : D
    Very good.

    Reply
  5. Thank you. I found this really helpful and inspiring.

    Reply
  6. I believe people are miserable because they’re too busy focusing on others, rather than themselves. The more they look at others, the more they compare themselves with others.
    That’s how many people tends to see reality. As they’re not gifted like others who was born with luxury. If more people were more focused on themselves, then maybe their life wouldn’t be so miserable.

    Reply
  7. Hi Ryan,
    I think that put our problems into perspective is very important…as you say
    “Put away the lens and observe the big picture of your life, and you’ll see no misery: only a person living and learning.”
    Sometimes we really focus on what bad is happening to us and we forget that we are part of the world and that in life there are things very important and things less important or not
    important at all.
    It is hard and difficult to consider and apply the advice you provide every day in our life. Sometimes we feel weak and we stuck in the prison of our misery.
    The point is to remember all the different points you mention in order to get out of that prison.
    Thank you for this constructive post.

    Reply
  8. thanks ryan i get know i am only 17 constantly worrying about my future because of the way life is now — i tend to blame everything else but myself for the lack of opportunities- you know why because i didnt make any for myself — i will be back in a month or two to report my change and i put down my email

    Reply
  9. Thanks, everyone! I
    t’s been a pleasure contributing to the change blog.

    Just remember that accessing a broad perspective is only the beginning of the journey into your self. It’s not an effortless journey, but the rewards will be plenty for those who follow though. There are vast horizons of blissfulness waiting to be explored, once we move past the limits of our self-inflicted prisons.

    Please keep this in mind as well: One of the best things about improving your understanding of self is how you will simultaneously improve your understanding of others, which in turn will make pieces of your life start falling into place.

    There are no magic tricks that will instantly change your life around. But there is much in the way of introspection + planning + practice, that will take you closer to the ideals you seek.

    Best of luck with your self-journeys!

    Reply
  10. “Put away the lens and observe the big picture of your life, and you’ll see no misery: only a person living and learning.” Life has been hard lately i feel lost confused on what is happening on my surroundings. I’m only “15” but now the only thing I’m going to do now is just “live as a learning person” for now until i find my self. /:

    Reply
  11. Hi Ryan, very blunt and straighforward. We all need this sometimes. We need not victimize ourselves
    Noch Noch

    Reply
  12. Hi, I love the way you have written this article and shared these tips to help others create change in their life. It makes people feel like it is possible and I will be recommending your site to others. Thank you. Warmest Regards Shirley

    Reply
  13. Wow another great post on the changeblog (love this website).

    It is all based on choices as to how we view life challenges, the inner decisions we during the experiences and how we decide to cope afterwards. To be a victim or not a victim is the question. One good technique I find is using creative visualisation. Before I take on a challenge which can be stressful I take a few minutes of quite time imaging myself going through the experience in advance with confidence and ease. Imagination is the cause of all problems and therefore so is the solution. So if you are afraid to take on certain experiences spend quality time using the power of the imagination to reverse the normal prospective. It is damn easy, fun and actually helped me pass my driving test after failing 5 times ; )

    Reply
  14. This is really nice. Thanks! A while ago I feel a little lost but because I’m still alive I need to think positive. Tears may flow today but there will be always another chance tomorrow to smile and try again.

    Reply
  15. Great re-framing of perceptions here. Good for everyone to remember sometimes. Thanks.

    Reply
  16. Thank you so much for this. I really needed to read and remember all these points. I’ve been so miserable lately that I never stopped to even think that it was MY own fault. Thanks again.

    Reply
  17. NO matter what is going on in your life, who you are with, and what you are doing.

    Always remember you are worthy and no one can take that away from you, no matter what!

    Reply

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