23 Comments
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Glori | Crazy Introvert
Definitely.
I experienced, and probably still experiencing, most of these fear. But sometimes, you have to suck it up and move forward.
Easily said than done, I know. But it always starts with the decision to change.
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No offense but that “easier said then done” attitudeis a form of procrastination and has paralyzed many people from taking that first initial step toward change. I have found that this type of behavior can and will throw stones in your progress. I like to think once you have thought of it in your mind you are already on your way, once you have said it aloud you have set things in motion. How you word or voice your thoughts is very powerful, be careful not to plant seeds of thought you do not desire to reap later.
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My biggest fear to overcome is sucsess. Funny I know, but i’ve dedicated myself to being the way I am no matter what. Now that I see I can be much better I have been crippled by this mantra of never changing. Never wanting the attention, but still feeling I deserve some credit for my efforts. It’s an up hill battle, and there are a lot of bumps along the way. Knowing these common fears really helps me. I see that the best way is just one step at a time and don’t look back. Thanks
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Nice Article. This article removed my fear. After reading this article i started celebrating my smallest victory by giving treat to my friends.
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John Bulmer
Fear of success is my demon. Not sure why.
I have been successful in so many aspects of life and have accomplished much. I know that I could do so much more if I want to, but for the most part I find myself thinking ‘I don’t want to”.
I put it down to thoroughly enjoying the journey of life, and not fixating on one destination. I want to (and have) experienced so much that I resist pursuing one goal with any passion or enthusiasm. Living MY life is my passion, and perhaps that is where I am most successful.
Thanks for getting me thinking on this, and Manny thanks for bringing up the topic of fear of success.
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Roy
Ha, I have to agree with this. I did hesitate to play varsity because I didn’t think I would start and yes, I did end up mostly on the bench. However, now I can be proud of trying instead of embarrassed of not. It’s a good way to look at future opportunities.
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@John I, too, have a fear of success. For me it’s because I’ve always been fickle and that’s where I’m comfortable. But I’ve reached a point where I’m tired of being comfortable, because I know I could do so much more. I’ve started blogging about that, and started putting actual work around doing more with my life. I’m two months into this new experiment, and so far I’m making progress.
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Stephen
Great post. I have been going through that lately when deciding to go to Alaska for college (coming from San Diego , sounds radical , but amazing) Huge risk going there, but at the same time, if I don’t ever make any risks in life, I will never accomplish anything.
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HIMANSHU
My biggest fear is of success. After reading your blog,I reallyfeel good.
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Fantastic article! Many times we develop great “reasons” that are really excuses of why we shouldn’t or can’t do something – that deep down inside, we really would love to do. Fear can paralyze not only the will to put forth the action, but in many cases it steers us in the opposite direction of opportunities. Fear never allows us to see our potential or even what “could be” for us. It will only share with us the discomforting experience that led us to adopt the fear, in the first place. I began facing many of my fears by looking first outside of my comfort zone, and then analyzing the fear to get a better understanding of why I had the fear. After gaining an understanding, I find that its a lot easier to rid myself of the fear – or simply give the fear new meaning; a more positive meaning. This practice has worked wonders for me.
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Blackdiamond
Very well put Deeone, alot of facing fear starts with analysis about your paralysis and then action from that analysis. Stepping outside one’s comfort zone is a huge step and giving the fear new meaning is also a great tool. I am beginning to put alot of these things into play to begin to attack some fears that I have as well. Thanks for your great input.
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i always believed that courage is one of the most important personality traits a person can have
thanks for the post : ) -
Celebrate every victory! That’s huge for changing or making progress in your life. If you take every small accomplishment for granted then you’ll never know how far you’ve come. You’ll still be looking ahead to how far you have to go still.
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I deal with the fear of failure all the time. There are so many things I want to do and projects I want to start, but I get caught up in what would happen if I fail. What would people think? How would I pick up the pieces and start again? I’m working on pushing past my fear of failure and going for my dreams anyway. At least I have a chance of succeeding if I try, but I definitely won’t succeed if I let fear get the better of me.
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Hi Jake,
These are “standard fears” and you are right to point them out. Genuine fears can be difficult to overcome without professional help. A lot of ‘fears’ fall int o the ‘excuse basket’. People label them as ‘fears’ but really they are often excuses.
Digging a little deeper into this can reveal the reason(s) & therefore the remedy if the person really wants to change. Thankyou for this.
be good to yourself
David -
Nice post Jake. Fear of change is what holds people back in almost any area of their life. All of these basic, big, fears come into play and can be paralyzing. I’d add that many people are afraid of showing up as they really are. It takes a willingness to be very vulnerable. Helping people take those first steps out into the world, authentically, is a big part of the work I do.
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Great post it goes with my post today entitled _ That’s just the way I am… isn’t that a great excuse not to change to state to people – well, that’s just the way I am.
We operate from 2 human emotions – FEAR or LOVE. If you have fear you don’t have love and if you have love you don’t have fear.
Thanks for your insights,
Great points,
Nancy -
I fear change because what if others dont like the new me or what if the change is out of order!
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[...] Jake O’Callahan, blogger at SlowChange, offered these five reasons we are so afraid of change. [...]
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I think you make some interesting points. One I believe you have missed is simply change is hard and most people have no desire to do the work it takes. Much easier to stay stuck and blame your genes/parents or whatever.
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[...] The Change Blog – Afraid Of Change [...]
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namerequired
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
“If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve.”
“If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to.”
“Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.”
- LaoziChanging is like dying, your old self dies and your new self is born, a metamorphosis. If you love yourself and you consider yourself special and unique, the idea of changing yourself is identical to killing yourself.
So, to paraphrase Lao Tzu, to change yourself you must first let go of yourself – by learning that all things change – thus overcoming the fear of dying.Unfortunately our society today praises identity, thus the fear of loosing it, thus the fear of dying.
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Mine is fear of failure and criticism because I have had an unbelievable amount of times I have failed at something I pursued for years and I see some one else find success and only had to dedicate a few months at the most. I can’t tell you how frustrating and enraging it is to give 200% of myself and never get a positive result.
