Comments on: Become a Person People Want to be Around http://www.thechangeblog.com/become-a-person-people-want-to-be-around/ Change Your Life Fri, 30 Jul 2010 03:32:15 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Robert http://www.thechangeblog.com/become-a-person-people-want-to-be-around/comment-page-1/#comment-13129 Robert Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:31:50 +0000 http://www.thechangeblog.com/?p=1730#comment-13129 Being an introvert to some degree is not bad, however, not learning how to make friends or talk to people can make for a very lonely existence. In high school I was extremely popular, I didn't have a particular click like many other kids, I was one of those people that could move from click to click and fit in and talk with everybody. Then something happened after high school, I am not sure what it was, but slowly my friends began to drop off one by one, dating started to slow down, then stopped and I found myself going out places, everywhere, alone. Then finally I stopped going out all together. It was a life of going to work and then coming home. I had become a hermit. This went on for several years. One day while on one of the social networking sites I saw a girl that I knew from high school and sent her a message to say hi. We began to talk and subsequently started to date. I can say I was a real challenege for her. It took quite a while before she could get me to start coming out of my shell. The unfortunate thing is that I did not come out of my shell enough. She had a group of close knit friends that threw parties, went to events, did things and invited us to do things with them... well invited her... I was the +1. I was happy to be the +1, it got me out of the house, but I also resented it secretly to some degree because I was only really invited because of her and felt like an outsider or out of place a lot of the time. This wore on my self-confidence and self-esteem even more, which wasn't particularly high in the first place, I ended up damaging my relationship with her and she broke up with me. After the break up I am faced with the fact that I don't have any friends and once again trying to force myself to get out of the house and do things alone. It has been a tough year for me... diagnosed with several health problems, lost my girlfriend of 3 years, my job of 6 years, my dog of 15 years... all in the same month. It's an understatement to say I have been hit pretty hard by depression due to all this, especially without any friends I can turn to for support, but i refuse to give up. I have been on a mission to change and become a better person... the person I want to be. Part of that is search is what led me here. Thank you. You offer some good advice and insights. Every little piece of information helps me to assemble the puzzle and take another step in the right direction. Little by little, I am attempting to build a better life, not rebuild the one I had. Any advice or suggestions you might have for me are welcomed and appreciated. Being an introvert to some degree is not bad, however, not learning how to make friends or talk to people can make for a very lonely existence. In high school I was extremely popular, I didn’t have a particular click like many other kids, I was one of those people that could move from click to click and fit in and talk with everybody. Then something happened after high school, I am not sure what it was, but slowly my friends began to drop off one by one, dating started to slow down, then stopped and I found myself going out places, everywhere, alone. Then finally I stopped going out all together. It was a life of going to work and then coming home. I had become a hermit. This went on for several years. One day while on one of the social networking sites I saw a girl that I knew from high school and sent her a message to say hi. We began to talk and subsequently started to date. I can say I was a real challenege for her. It took quite a while before she could get me to start coming out of my shell. The unfortunate thing is that I did not come out of my shell enough. She had a group of close knit friends that threw parties, went to events, did things and invited us to do things with them… well invited her… I was the +1. I was happy to be the +1, it got me out of the house, but I also resented it secretly to some degree because I was only really invited because of her and felt like an outsider or out of place a lot of the time. This wore on my self-confidence and self-esteem even more, which wasn’t particularly high in the first place, I ended up damaging my relationship with her and she broke up with me. After the break up I am faced with the fact that I don’t have any friends and once again trying to force myself to get out of the house and do things alone. It has been a tough year for me… diagnosed with several health problems, lost my girlfriend of 3 years, my job of 6 years, my dog of 15 years… all in the same month. It’s an understatement to say I have been hit pretty hard by depression due to all this, especially without any friends I can turn to for support, but i refuse to give up. I have been on a mission to change and become a better person… the person I want to be. Part of that is search is what led me here. Thank you. You offer some good advice and insights. Every little piece of information helps me to assemble the puzzle and take another step in the right direction. Little by little, I am attempting to build a better life, not rebuild the one I had. Any advice or suggestions you might have for me are welcomed and appreciated.

]]> By: Taimur Nawaz http://www.thechangeblog.com/become-a-person-people-want-to-be-around/comment-page-1/#comment-13065 Taimur Nawaz Wed, 02 Jun 2010 16:17:08 +0000 http://www.thechangeblog.com/?p=1730#comment-13065 thanks Jason Barr....i really want this....now i am trying to do this and build self-confidence and empathy :) thanks Jason Barr….i really want this….now i am trying to do this and build self-confidence and empathy :)

]]> By: Jeffrey Luke http://www.thechangeblog.com/become-a-person-people-want-to-be-around/comment-page-1/#comment-10025 Jeffrey Luke Thu, 31 Dec 2009 01:03:36 +0000 http://www.thechangeblog.com/?p=1730#comment-10025 Nice article. I too have been studying a few of my magnetic friends to see what secrets they hold - and it seems to always come back to two. One is self-confidence, which is being comfortable in your own skin and knowing what you stand for. The second is a having no fear of failure. As I continually strive to be a better man, these lessons have helped with building my belief system - the foundation for true self-confidence. What are the things I truly believe in, and why?!? And I also must continually remind myself that with failure comes success - and most failures hurt far less than we imagine. Nice article. I too have been studying a few of my magnetic friends to see what secrets they hold – and it seems to always come back to two. One is self-confidence, which is being comfortable in your own skin and knowing what you stand for. The second is a having no fear of failure.

As I continually strive to be a better man, these lessons have helped with building my belief system – the foundation for true self-confidence. What are the things I truly believe in, and why?!? And I also must continually remind myself that with failure comes success – and most failures hurt far less than we imagine.

]]> By: To accomplish our destiny it is not enough to merely guard prudently against road accidents. We must also cover before nightfall the distance assigned to each of us. « the scenic route http://www.thechangeblog.com/become-a-person-people-want-to-be-around/comment-page-1/#comment-9772 To accomplish our destiny it is not enough to merely guard prudently against road accidents. We must also cover before nightfall the distance assigned to each of us. « the scenic route Sun, 27 Dec 2009 12:52:47 +0000 http://www.thechangeblog.com/?p=1730#comment-9772 [...] how to become a type of person people like to be around in 2 easy steps. and neither of them require surgery. [...] [...] how to become a type of person people like to be around in 2 easy steps. and neither of them require surgery. [...]

]]> By: kev http://www.thechangeblog.com/become-a-person-people-want-to-be-around/comment-page-1/#comment-9220 kev Sat, 12 Dec 2009 23:29:45 +0000 http://www.thechangeblog.com/?p=1730#comment-9220 Hi i would just like to say how nice it is to read how other people feel about this as i to find it so difficult making and being friends with people. I have four hunderd friends on facebook which half added me as i am a face they have seen out at the weekend in the pubs and clubs ect to say hi to but none of them would start a conversation with me on facebook!! When i try to start a conversation they say hi back but it goes knowhere and i can tell they arent interested!!! Ive worked out that Its got to be the way i come across as its nothing to do with my body language or how i look because some people ive met on the internet dont know what i look like. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!!! Perhaps i am trying to hard to be friends or perhaps i come across in a way i dont realise. Im very confident at work with customers and i can tell they do genuwinly like me so why is my social life so very bad!!! (can anyone help??) Thanks Hi i would just like to say how nice it is to read how other people feel about this as i to find it so difficult making and being friends with people. I have four hunderd friends on facebook which half added me as i am a face they have seen out at the weekend in the pubs and clubs ect to say hi to but none of them would start a conversation with me on facebook!! When i try to start a conversation they say hi back but it goes knowhere and i can tell they arent interested!!! Ive worked out that Its got to be the way i come across as its nothing to do with my body language or how i look because some people ive met on the internet dont know what i look like. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!!! Perhaps i am trying to hard to be friends or perhaps i come across in a way i dont realise. Im very confident at work with customers and i can tell they do genuwinly like me so why is my social life so very bad!!! (can anyone help??) Thanks

]]> By: Marissa http://www.thechangeblog.com/become-a-person-people-want-to-be-around/comment-page-1/#comment-8877 Marissa Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:01:54 +0000 http://www.thechangeblog.com/?p=1730#comment-8877 Wow. Part of the reason i think ppl don't want to be around is that i google stuff like this, seriously. I'm betting that the extrovert is not! I feel that i go unnoticed in most situations, i hesitate to speak or keep answers short fo fear of saying something stupid as i have many times before. i definately over analyze everything i do. can't even leave a voicemail without playing it back or rerecording same rings true for other forms of communication. I can't seem to get pass this invisible "barrier" keeping me within. One of my "friends" recently commented on how boring i was and i often avoid situations where i will be left alone with anybody!!! I se people having conversations with one another and i can't help but wonder what they are talking about. I first noticed this problem in highschool with a boyfriend. Everyday after class i would ask him the same questions, do you have to work today? God forbid if he said no!!!! I think my problem is deeper than anyone elses up here. I once started drinking before i went to work (don't worry i wasn't operating heavy machinery) just to loosen up. Why am i so stiff. I don't wanna be the life of the party i just want to be someone that ppl feel like they can start conversations with and i don't ppl to crawl outta their skin to get to a more comfortable enviroment when they are with me. I guess i could use more confidence. Any more suggestions! Wow. Part of the reason i think ppl don’t want to be around is that i google stuff like this, seriously. I’m betting that the extrovert is not! I feel that i go unnoticed in most situations, i hesitate to speak or keep answers short fo fear of saying something stupid as i have many times before. i definately over analyze everything i do. can’t even leave a voicemail without playing it back or rerecording same rings true for other forms of communication. I can’t seem to get pass this invisible “barrier” keeping me within. One of my “friends” recently commented on how boring i was and i often avoid situations where i will be left alone with anybody!!! I se people having conversations with one another and i can’t help but wonder what they are talking about. I first noticed this problem in highschool with a boyfriend. Everyday after class i would ask him the same questions, do you have to work today? God forbid if he said no!!!! I think my problem is deeper than anyone elses up here. I once started drinking before i went to work (don’t worry i wasn’t operating heavy machinery) just to loosen up. Why am i so stiff. I don’t wanna be the life of the party i just want to be someone that ppl feel like they can start conversations with and i don’t ppl to crawl outta their skin to get to a more comfortable enviroment when they are with me. I guess i could use more confidence. Any more suggestions!

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