How To Be A Better Person
I was at my local library recently, just browsing the shelves, when an interesting book title caught my eye: “Being, Nothingness, and Fly Fishing”
The book is subtitled, “How One Man Gave Up Everything To Fish The Fabled Waters Of The West”
Intrigued, I picked up the book and read the inside flap of the dust jacket. It mentions that in book’s introduction, the author, while writing about a particular river, wrote: “The North Umpqua makes me want to be a better fly fisherman.”
I needed some context for such a bold statement, so I flipped to the introduction and found the actual quote. The full paragraph reads:
“Never do I fish as attentively as when I’m on the North Umpqua. I feel I owe the river the very best I have to offer, after all, the river has given its very best to me. The North Umpqua makes me want to be a better fly fisherman.”
Have you ever felt this way about anything? Do you have any things in your life that make you want to be a better person?
- Does the special person in your life make you want to be a better partner?
- Does your job make you want to be a better employee or your company make you want to be a better entrepreneur?
- What about your car? Does it make you want to be a better driver?
Is there anything in your life that would make you say: “I owe this the very best that I have to offer!”
In my role as a life coach for personal development, I frequently meet people who think they are “stuck”. Often, the truth of the matter isn’t that they’re stuck, it’s that they just haven’t found something that demands the very best they have to offer - something that makes them want to be a better person.
Well, what if the answer isn’t something outside of yourself? What if it’s not a person or a thing?
What about your life itself?
Please humor me for a minute… just for fun - imagine that you woke up tomorrow with the feeling that you owe your life the very best you have to offer!
What would that day look like to you?
What would it sound like?
Imagine living like that for just one day! How would that feel?
How To Be A Better Person - An Experiment
Now I’d like to propose something. I’d like to propose that you make up your mind, right here and now, to actually do this tomorrow - just as an experiment. You don’t have to tell anyone what you’re up to, you don’t have to recruit others to do it with you and you don’t need to make a big deal out of it. Just wake up with the attitude that no matter what happens throughout the day, you are going to give your life the very best you have to offer! You are going to live your life in a way that makes you want to be a better person.
Be forewarned, this new approach could change everything!
(Seriously, once you try this please come back and tell us about your amazing day by posting in the comments section.)
Patrick Mathieu is a motivational speaker, author and coach. His website is The Power of Mortality. Image courtesy of Jam Adams
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26 Comments
September 8th, 2008 at 6:43 am
OK
I’ll do it!
[Reply]
Patrick Mathieu reply on September 8, 2008 11:41 am:
Great Pam! Can’t wait to hear about your results!
-Patrick
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September 8th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Already did it. I left a 16 year toxic relationship and went and lived on my own for a year. The day I moved into my apartment I vowed that I would live my life the way that makes ME the best person possible. Not my kids, not a partner, not my boss. ME. It was a struggle to adopt this new approach, but an interesting thing happened when I did. I met someone who had made the same decision for himself. And now individually and as a couple we are better people for knowing and loving each other.
Urban Panthers last blog post..To poo or not to poo, that is the question.
[Reply]
Patrick Mathieu reply on September 8, 2008 11:44 am:
Beautiful!
That must have been difficult transition at first. I’m curious, what kept you going during those first few days and weeks after you left the relationship?
-Patrick
Patrick Mathieus last blog post..Well, when you put it that way…
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September 8th, 2008 at 9:00 am
I’ve already decided to be a better person some time ago. I’m constantly challenging myself. I have to admit that sometimes, it feels like I’m working out of my comfort zone. But hey…I’m treating all this as kindof fun and exciting!
Evelyn Lims last blog post..An Enchanting Vision From My Angels
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Patrick Mathieu reply on September 8, 2008 11:46 am:
Evelyn:
Isn’t it great to be constantly breaking new ground and discovering new territory!
Good for you!
-Patrick
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September 8th, 2008 at 10:03 am
I’m doing this already. I started my blog mainly to write my way to betterness (and tell funny stories) and I’m making great progress. It’s getting easier to live in the moment and centre myself so that I don’t let my perfectionism get the best of me. I’m choosing to see the positive, even in my own idiocy.
My kids make me want to be my best, my spouse, my friends and God.
[Reply]
Patrick Mathieu reply on September 9, 2008 5:16 am:
Natasha:
Kids, spouse, friends and God - what a fantastic support system!
Thanks for sharing!
-Patrick
Patrick Mathieus last blog post..Well, when you put it that way…
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September 8th, 2008 at 10:16 am
I try to do this every day. When I open my eyes in the morning, I take a few minutes to feel gratitude for all the little things that make up my life and the lives of those around me. I thank God for waking up, not to mention for my family and the roof over my head. I get sidetracked sometimes as the day wears on, but when I do, I stop myself and try to find a quiet spot where I can remind myself that I AM a better person than a was the day before.
Jennae @ Green Your Decors last blog post..Sunday Link Love: Green is More Than a Color Edition
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September 8th, 2008 at 11:27 am
I’m trying to be a better person every day. I have learned to stop trying to be a PERFECT person - that was impossible and too stressful. But I see every day as a new chance at being the best that I possibly can.
Vered - MomGrinds last blog post..You Read Women’s Magazines? I’ll Give You Ten Reasons To Stop
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Patrick Mathieu reply on September 9, 2008 5:19 am:
Vered:
You and Natasha have hit on a very important point… perfection is a real trap that can quickly derail you.
I try to remind myself to focus on “MY best” rather than “THE best”. Life is much more satisfying that way.
-Patrick
Patrick Mathieus last blog post..Well, when you put it that way…
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September 8th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Jennae:
I’ll bet that those around you really notice the difference!
-Patrick
Patrick Mathieus last blog post..Well, when you put it that way…
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September 8th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Thanks for the great article. Lately, I’ve been asking myself “what is worthy of my attention?” This question seems to boil down what is most important in my life. I usually answer: meditation is worthy of my attention. Giving my full attention to silence and that Ground of Being I find in meditation, brings me closer to the heart or essence of myself. When I quiet the mind, I am able to clearly see myself and the world around me. This simple practice makes me a better person. I’m not as affected by compulsive mind chatter or the storm of emotion and I begin to have a better understanding and compassion for all that is. If I have issues, simply observing them seems to dissolve them, and all that remains is a clear, surrendered awareness. As I evolve, so does the rest of humanity. Changing ourselves for the better is the highest good we can do for humanity and the collective whole. After all, we’re all in this together.
Ken LaDeroute
http://www.AffirmationPower.com
[Reply]
Patrick Mathieu reply on September 9, 2008 5:27 am:
Ken:
Yes, the “compulsive mind chatter” (which so many of us like to call ‘thinking’ or ‘reasoning’) very often does more harm than good when it comes to getting to really know yourself and letting yourself evolve.
And I love what you’ve said about changing ourselves for the collective whole of humanity! Imagine if everyone just worried about their own day and stayed out of other people’s days! Wouldn’t that be an exciting world? I recently wrote called a post called “Whose Business Is That?” which was about that very topic: http://www.powerofmortality.co.....ss-is-that
-Patrick
Patrick Mathieus last blog post..Well, when you put it that way…
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September 8th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
I definitely have to give this a shot. I find myself in a job I barely tolerate and a girlfriend I sort of just tolerate. I think it’s time to do something about this unsatisfactory life.
Thanks for posting some encouraging words.
[Reply]
Patrick Mathieu reply on September 9, 2008 5:34 am:
BPO:
Good for you for deciding to take charge of your life! Once you start to give your life the best you have to offer you may find that you want a new job and a new girlfriend - OR - you may find that your current job and current girlfriend now seem completely different to you and are exciting, fulfilling and vibrant parts of your “new” life!
Over the years I’ve learned that very often life gives us back more of what we put in. If you aren’t putting your best into your career and relationships, then you may not be getting the best out of them. But once you consistently start to put in 100% of yourself … look out!!
Let us know how it goes!
-Patrick
Patrick Mathieus last blog post..Well, when you put it that way…
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September 8th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Patrick,
I have just stumbled upon your website today and have been feverishly catching up on all the great insight you have supplied. So much of it speaks to me and what I intend to do for myself. Thank you for this posting and all the others. I look foreword to putting it into practice.
–Zach
[Reply]
Patrick Mathieu reply on September 9, 2008 5:36 am:
Zach:
Thanks for your kind words. Feedback like that is exactly why I keep doing what I do!
-Patrick
Patrick Mathieus last blog post..Well, when you put it that way…
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September 9th, 2008 at 7:48 am
@Patrick - oh very good question! My children. They are all in their early 20s, and were THRILLED to have me leave the relationship. For the first 3 or 4 months, we completely reversed roles. They almost became the parent, and it was hard for me at first, but in the end I let them. They each helped in their own way. My eldest daughter is the one with all the business smarts and she helped me with things like plugged kitchen sinks. She would also listen to me cry for a bit, and then she would always say something to get me howling with laughter. My middle daughter trash talked my ex. She and I both know that it takes 2 in a relationship, and I wouldn’t trash talk him, so she did it for me. My son came over at least 3 times a week, just to hang and keep me distracted. I had other support systems, but my children deserve most of the credit in this department.
Urban Panthers last blog post..Full blown change meltdown
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October 6th, 2008 at 6:27 am
hi
i just did it yesterday
woooooooooooooow
it feels just so great
you work and do your best throughout the day
nice article
helped me alot
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October 12th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I’m going to try this tomorrow!
Arjens last blog post..Create a Favicon for your website
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October 22nd, 2008 at 8:30 pm
[...] It’s okay to regret your past stuff-ups. It’s an opportunity to learn from the experience and become a better person. [...]
November 2nd, 2008 at 10:10 am
amazing post! trying this tomorrow. my ex boyfriend has left me and is doing way better then me. he wants me to ‘figure out’ what i did wrong, but its difficult, from today on i told him i wouldn’t be talking to him again until May. It seems impossible, but I’m going to try. If anything it won’t be impossible, just a challenge. I’m hoping Feburary maybe we’ll be back to normal. Thanks for the advice
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November 4th, 2008 at 6:09 am
I really feel like I want to be a better person, to make life for myself and for those around me easier. I feel like I don’t know how though - this may sound horrible, but how do you reconcile your attempts to be a better, more understanding, appreciative, receptive, non-judgemental person when there are people around who are so lacking in these qualities? I really feel doing mental work may be the key to being a better person
Working out why I get angry and irrrational, and how to become aware…etc.
Great blog!
[Reply]
Patrick Mathieu reply on November 4, 2008 8:20 am:
Courtney:
I think the answer to your question lies in the question itself. (No, I’m not trying to sound like Yoda or a zen master)
You said: “how do you reconcile your attempts to be a better, more understanding, appreciative, receptive, non-judgmental person when there are people around who are so lacking in these qualities?”
The way I see it, the only work you can do is on YOU. People will do what they do. You can set an example, but you aren’t responsible for their actions. How you choose to live your life shouldn’t be impacted by how others choose to live their lives. In fact, when you focus on changing others, you are inviting a lot of stress into your life. I recently wrote about this in an article called: “Who’s Business Is That?.
Of course, another alternative is to choose to surround yourself with people who posses the qualities you are looking for!
Hang in there - it’s worth it!
-Patrick
[Reply]
November 14th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
[...] HOW TO BE A BETTER PERSON [...]
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