Comments on: How to Change for the Sake of Your Relationship: Why it’s Not as Taboo as You Think

By: hypnosisadmin

hypnosisadmin — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 15:05:55 +0000

Thank you for the post. Now I know why my relationship won’t last for more than a year. I even thought to myself that I am destined to be alone without someone beside me. Again, thanks. Il try tp practice to put the relationship first above anything else on my next relationship.

By: Alex Shalman

Alex Shalman — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 15:40:19 +0000

Devils advocate alert

So during a recent interview with Suzy Welch, she mentioned that compromises are not the best option. In a compromise both people are left with less than they want, and ultimately unsatisfied. It’s better to have both parties understand why a certain choice is better and go with it. What do you think?

By: farouk

farouk — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:47:01 +0000

nice one tara:)

By: Stefan | StudySuccessful.com

Stefan | StudySuccessful.com — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 10:22:49 +0000

I am only 18, so I don’t see myself as an expert on this area. But when I have argues with my girlfriend, I also want to win all the time. Until I start thinking about it, what is the use of being agry on her for something as small as it was, why should I keep being agry about something small, why do I want to win this.
So I started to make some small changes, agreeing more with her, that sort of things. And it works out great, not only for your relationship, but also for you as a person. Having a positive mindset helps!

By: Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching

Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 22:48:33 +0000

Thanks for this. The point about letting go of the need to be “right” seems important to me. If my partner and I can just admit to each other “this is what I want or how I feel” rather than arguing about who is in the right or wrong, we can feel much more connected instead of feeling like opposing lawyers. And even if we don’t compromise, at least both of us feel heard, which I think is often more important than getting a certain result anyway.

By: Evan

Evan — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 00:47:18 +0000

Hi Tara,

I’m in two minds about your post. If you are advocating interdependence then I am in wholehearted agreement.

I’m not sure about putting the other person or the relationship first. This can end up with both people being unhappy. Putting our marriage ahead of my partner I think is a mistake (this may not be what you meant).

I think changing for the sake of others can be a great idea. It can be remarkably liberating (who says we should always think of ourselves first?). My problem is when this becomes a should and something we need to force ourselves to – and it is not followed by feeling good. Hope this makes sense, I’m battling to be clear I think.

Thanks for your thought-provoking post.