Comments on: How Your Darkest Secret Can Empower You

By: O m n i f i s s i o n : V.10o » Self Help: Empower

O m n i f i s s i o n : V.10o » Self Help: Empower — Tue, 05 May 2009 21:49:50 +0000

[...] How Your Darkest Secret Can Empower You Posted by Christopher R. Edgar on September 16th, 2008 Image courtesy of Joel Bedford. [...]

By: Self Help: Empower « O m n i f u s i o n

Self Help: Empower « O m n i f u s i o n — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 19:10:25 +0000

[...] in Spiritual How Your Darkest Secret Can Empower You Posted by Christopher R. Edgar on September 16th, 2008 Image courtesy of Joel [...]

By: Chris Edgar

Chris Edgar — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:05:51 +0000

Hi Marelisa — I think that’s a useful way to see the ideas in the article. I think taking our focus off hiding our weaknesses from others and actually pursuing what we want is one of the most important steps we can take in our personal growth.

Hi Seamus — I don’t want to tell you what you have to do, but on the subject of “laziness” or procrastination, I will say that I’ve noticed, in moments when I’m procrastinating, that I’m holding back because I’m concerned about what others are going to learn about me when they see my work. I start putting off working, especially if I’m doing something creative like writing, because it’s easier for me to hide than to risk “exposing myself.” I wonder if this resonates with you.

Best, Chris

By: Seamus Anthony

Seamus Anthony — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 06:50:50 +0000

Powerful post. I doubt my deep dark secret is being a lazy bugger – because I openly admit – nay – flaunt that. But I am sure there’s something horrible lurking down there.

Do I HAVE to go find it out?

Seamus Anthonys last blog post..10 Reasons Why Being a Lazy Dude is Actually a Good Thing

By: Marelisa

Marelisa — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 23:42:14 +0000

I think this article highlights perfectly how much we limit ourselves by focusing on what others will think: how others will perceive us, what they’ll think about what we just did, their approval or disapproval, and so on. I think that in order to be truly successful in this world–however you define success–you need to remove your focus from others and refocus it on yourself. Identifying the false core that we’re trying to hide from other is a good step in that direction. Very insightful post!

Marelisas last blog post..Creativity Insights from Seth Godin

By: Chris Edgar

Chris Edgar — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 16:49:19 +0000

Hi Madley — thanks for your comment. It sounds like you feel that you’d be happier if you weren’t aware of the limiting beliefs you have about yourself. If keeping those beliefs out of your awareness is working for you, more power to you. And, in my experience working with people and on myself, beliefs like “I’m unlovable” — even if you aren’t conscious of them — will continue to run your thinking and behavior at an unconscious level. We can free ourselves from their influence only if we become aware of them.

For example, like I say in the article, I used to be really obsessed with working, to the point where it threatened my health, and although I knew it was a problem I couldn’t seem to stop. When I started deeply exploring the reasons I was behaving this way, I came to see that it was to compensate for a sense of powerlessness. As you say, it was painful to realize that I felt this way about myself. But interestingly, once I understood the belief that was driving me to work to exhaustion all the time, I started to feel a sense of choice around my behavior. I also saw that the belief was rooted in my distant past and had very little to do with my life today, and this helped me to free myself from its influence.

This is why I think processes like the one I describe in the article for rooting out the beliefs that create our unwanted behaviors are helpful.

Best, Chris