Have Them Come to You: How to Meet Like-Minded People Effortlessly

Have Them Come to You: How to Meet Like-Minded People Effortlessly

Interested in having more like-minded people in your life? Who wouldn’t, right?

Finding these people can be extremely easy, if you go about it smartly.

You are a unique person with unique interests. But you might not have people in your life to share these interests with. Where are these people hiding?

If the internet has proved anything, it’s that you’re not alone. These days, you can find thousands of people around the world with interests similar to yours.

Even if your interest is in manly mustaches. (Or dating people with manly mustaches.)

Interacting with these people online is great, but it doesn’t compare to actually meeting with them in the real world.

Unfortunately, it isn’t as easy to find these people in the flesh. But there’s one convenient technique that allows these people to find you, instead of you having to search for them.

Online vs. Offline

In the online world people can interact anonymously. They don’t have to reveal where they live, or disclose their true names, if they don’t feel like it.

This leads to an environment where people are more comfortable with expressing who they truly are.

When online, people are willing to share all kinds of things about themselves and their unique interests. This is one of the beauties of the internet, and the main reason why it’s so easy to find likeminded people there.

But when we unplug from this virtual reality, the game changes in an instant.

All of the sudden people become more reserved about revealing their true interests and passions. Maybe they’re afraid of what others might think of them.

In the real world most people want to fit in, more than anything else.

This leads to a phenomenon of everyone trying to be ‘normal’. This can be witnessed on many different levels, such as: people trying to dress like each other, or people only being willing to express popular opinions, etc.

When everyone is pretending to be normal it’s hard to find people who share your particular interests. Although, you can be sure they’re out there, all around you.

Have Them Come To You

So, what we have on our hands is a mass of people pretending to be average. Yet, no one is truly ‘average’ deep inside!

How on earth will you find your people in this environment?

Go and ask random people on the street if they share your interests and you probably won’t have great results. This approach is very inefficient.

Instead of hunting down likeminded people, you can actually have them find you.

Doing this can be very simple, and the solution is this: display your unique interests where others can see them.

From now on, think of yourself as a kind of living billboard with the power to attract likeminded people.

Your outside appearance tells people a lot about you. Why not use it to your advantage. Create an appearance that signals your people that you are one of them.

This can be done in numerous ways, some being more subtle than others.

Take this to a level that feels comfortable for you. There’s no need to go overboard.

If you’re into a specific band, you could put on a fan t-shirt when you go out. This is a great conversation starter for the people around you who share your passion for this band.

They are probably dying to meet likeminded people as well.

Make it easy for them to discover you.

What’s Stopping Us?

People are scared to display their interests openly because they think others might consider them weird. I’ve felt this fear, and I’m guessing you’ve felt it as well.

I’ve had some great practice with confronting this fear by wearing my Vibram Fivefingers around town.

Sure, some might think I’m weird but it’s a price I’m willing to pay. I wear them because they are good for my posture. And they also display my passion for healthy living.

Wearing these shoes clearly reveals an aspect and interests of mine to the outside world. This will help likeminded people find me as I go about my day.

If you pretend to be like everyone else you’ll miss out on countless of opportunities to meet people sharing your passions and interests.

Stop trying to please everyone; it’s a pointless task anyways.

Conclusion

It’s incredible fun to hang out with people who share your interests. And it’s just way more enjoyable to do offline.

The reason why most people don’t get to do this is because they’re afraid to reveal their true self to those around them. They pretend to be average, just like most of the people out there.

You can break this pattern by displaying your interests bravely. Likeminded people will find you, and they’ll be happy that you had the courage to expose your true interests.

This might be a bit scary at first but you can start small and build your way up.

Give your people a chance to find you!

Photo by stevendepolo

Juha Kaartoluoma

Juha writes at Prince Awakened on Introversion and Manhood. If you liked this article, you might also enjoy one of his top articles: 3 Vital Social Skills We Should Have Been Taught in School.

Latest posts by Juha Kaartoluoma (see all)

18 Comments

  1. It gets easier when you quit caring what people think of you. I started asking myself why do I care? I didn’t have a good answer so I don’t. An awkward moment here and there isn’t a good reason to be anything other than yourself.

    Dan Garner
    ZenPresence.com

    Reply
    • Hi Dan!

      Good point. What’s most important is to stay true to yourself.

      Reply
    • took the words right out of my mouth!

      Reply
    • Ha! As soon as I was said “Wait a minute. ..why do I give two shits?” My world began to blossom around me! I agree 100%, stay true to yourself and yourself only. Once you’re comfortable opening up and being yourself around people, you’ll soon find yourself surrounded by like – minded people!

      Reply
  2. Hi there Juha,

    I couldn’t help but smile at your ‘glove shoes’. However, I would draw the line at drawing people’s attention to one’s prehensile tail and frequently hanging out at The Hominids Hub pub.

    That would be a ‘uniqueness’ too far, if one wants to pull a like-minded chick, methinks… =)

    Paul

    Reply
    • Thanks for the comment Paul!

      Yea, I don’t think there’s anything cool about trying too hard to be ‘unique’ and to stand out. Leaving little clues is more than enough, in my opinion.

      Reply
  3. Hi there Juha,

    I couldn’t help but smile at your ‘glove shoes’. However, I would draw the line at drawing people’s attention to one’s prehensile tail and frequently hanging out at The Hominids Hub pub.

    That would be a ‘uniqueness’ too far, if one wants to pull a like-minded chick, methinks… =)

    Paul

    Reply
  4. I really enjoyed reading this post and oddly enough we are all faced with this predicament. I’ve found that by joining different social communities and posting on various websites has helped me to connect with like minded people.

    Jeannie George

    Reply
    • Hi Jeannie!

      Thanks for the tip, and thank god for the Internet, right?!

      Reply
  5. What?!! are you wearing glove socks too??

    Reply
    • Yes sir!

      Reply
  6. Hi Juhla,

    I loved your line – you are a living billboard – certainly food for thought in that!

    My next door neighbor does just what you are saying. He’s 80!! He has been passionate about MG’s his whole life – he has 3 parked in his garages at the back of his house. They’re almost as old as he is!! He tells me that whenever he drives in one of these cars, people coming up to chat to him. He’s always throwing parties and inviting these new friends over – amazing man!

    What you are suggesting certainly works!

    Kirsten Long
    http://www.coach4life.co.za/blog

    Reply
  7. Great post Juha,

    Please don’t tell me you wear those five fingers with socks! Haha, you’re very brave indeed. I personally enjoy hanging out with my peeps online because it is so hard to find others in the world who don’t think I’m crazy for being so involved in self-improvement. I don’t know how many times people have gave me crazy eyes when I’ve said I don’t watch sports because I spend that time working on my happiness blog!

    I agree though, face-to-face – real life friends are super important for social health. Something I have found that works really well is volunteering! You get to pick the organization and meet many others in your hometown that share similar passions, such as making the world a better place. I find it so helpful that I actually wrote a blog post on the matter which can be found on my website: http://how-tobehappy.com/benefits-of-volunteerism/.

    I’ll put your tips to work and thanks for publishing your great advice!

    Best,
    TJ

    Reply
  8. How brave are you? How interesting are you? How committed to your particular mission or business are you?

    Sometimes it’s a matter of how enthusiastically you present yourself with confidence. With the right approach you can “sell” almost anything to anyone. I’ve often found this to be true. Whether its connections and popularity or a business proposition, people react to you!

    Commit to yourself and your project or your position, fully. This wholehearted commitment will go a long ways towards attracting the right people and even some ancillary people. Enthusiasm is a huge draw!

    But, no, you don’t want to bludgeon them … be attractive, not forceful. We have a lot of natural energy when we believe. Then, people want to help!

    Reply
  9. Hi Juha,

    I can’t stand mustaches, but I sure liked your article!

    Isn’t it sad that so many people hide who they are, then complain that no one understands them? If you want people to understand you, you have to be clear about who you are: your values, your attitude, and your interests.

    Sounds like you have that strategy down pat with the awesome Vibrams!

    I usually try to sneak something a little different into my wardrobe to attract people who are also a bit unconventional, from a floor-length patterned skirt to funky-colored hair.

    And like Carmelo mentioned, being enthusiastic on its own is a great way to attract people, especially other enthusiastic people who can help you on your path to personal development. Just talking to people and being positive goes a long way :)

    Reply
  10. After reading this post I don’t feel so alone anymore.:) I spend a lot of time reading and writing about self improvement and most of my friends just don’t get it.

    Because I don’t spend a lot of my time hanging out with them they always ask me what keeps me so busy that I can’t find the time to go to the bar with them.

    Lol, it’s really very comical. I enjoy my online relationships very much and value the relationship I have with my husband because he gets it and he supports me.

    Reply
  11. This is very true yet easier said than done. I read something interesting recently that really surprised me. Apparently, many Europeans view Americans (those of us from the USA, that is) as very conformist. I’ve spoken with Europeans who’ve confirmed this. We think we’re so free here in the USA but as diverse as our country is, we still tend to be intolerant of interpersonal differences. It may be politically incorrect to judge someone by their race or religion but we judge other people harshly when they dress differently or don’t behave in ways we expect them to. Yet if we’re to meet people who like us for who we really are (and not for whom we appear to be) we must show people who we really are.

    Yes, it’s very true. But tough to put into practice. Takes a lot of courage.

    Reply
    • Hi Meri

      Thank you for your open honesty. Unfortunately the USA suffers from a not too good international relations image. Only a minority of Americans have passports. The few that do ‘go abroad’, mostly visit Canada, Mexico, or Hawaii. Even fewer visit areas where the US has more serious political conflicts. Hence, part of the reason for its national insular behaviour.

      Unfortunately, American politicians don’t always improve the situation, and have made huge errors of judgement in the past, in many countries, with little or no conscience – called “protecting America’s strategic interests”. Therefore, such awareness begets behaviour that becomes part of the societal collective unconscious – a zeitgeist. Americans are insular, with just cause.

      Reply

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