Photo by Hamed Saber.

Last week I had a horrible experience trying to get our home phone activated. I won’t bore you with the details, but what I will tell you is that I spent approximately 4 hours on the phone trying to resolve the problem. One of the main reasons it took so long was that I kept being bounced from employee to employee. It seemed to me that no one wanted to take ownership of the problem, and so long as this was the case nothing happened (except if you count my frustration as “something”).

As I thought about the way in which this large telecommunications company handled the problem, I started to see the similarities between their behavior and the way in which many people go through life. Many people fail to take ownership of their problems, instead choosing to live a life characterized by blame, denial, lack of responsibility, and inaction. If you want to avoid living this way, I suggest you ensure the 4 following practices feature in your life.

Honesty

My first challenge with the telecommunications company was to convince them that there actually was a problem!

If you want to have complete control of your experience of life, you must be truthful with yourself. Being honest with yourself about your problems or shortcomings is always the best policy. It is only once you admit that you have a problem that you can then get on with fixing it.

If you would like to read further on this point, I suggest you read my article If You Want to Change, Tell The Truth.

Awareness

When speaking to the employees of this company, it was as if they were pre-programmed to deny the problem or shift the blame elsewhere. They seemed unaware of their fundamental choice to take ownership of my complaint.

To take ownership of your life, you must be aware that you always have a choice as to how you handle a problem. This choice comes down to the following: you can either play the role of the victim or you can take personal responsibility for correcting the problem.

Responsibility

The telecommunications company did come to acknowledge the problem, but they were all to eager to pass blame, and therefore responsibility, for it from department to department.

The problem with blame is that you immediately give away your power. If you blame someone or something else - whether it be your parents, friends, boss, or even the economy - for your circumstances then you make yourself a victim, and therefore put yourself in a position of helplessness and paralysis.

The key then is to take personal responsibility for your life. Apart from avoiding blame, this also means not placing the responsibility for certain outcomes upon others. For example:

• Don’t place the responsibility for your own happiness onto a partner
• Don’t place the responsibility for your financial future onto your parents
• Don’t place the responsibility for progressing your career onto your boss

Your partner, parents, or boss may play a part in your desires becoming reality. But if you don’t take personal responsibility, there is a good chance you will be left frustrated and disappointed. Therefore I suggest you take personal responsibility by committing yourself to fixing any problems in your life and creating the future you want.

Action

At one stage in my dealings with this telecommunications company I spoke to a seemingly helpful representative who I believed had resolved the problem. They told me that the phone would be activated within 24 hours, and I ended that call believing the problem to be fixed. It didn’t happen, and it took me another 2 hours on the phone to (finally) resolve the matter.

The preceding attributes - honesty, awareness, responsibility - are all important. At the end of the day, though, they are meaningless if you don’t follow through on the commitment you have made. It reminds me of a quote by Stephen R. Covey: “to know and not to do, is really not to know.”

* * *

This story does have a happy ending. Apart from getting the home phone activated, I was offered 6 months of free phone service (amazing what happens when you threaten to cancel the contract). This is also a perfect demonstration of why you need to take ownership of your problems. I did not cause the problem with our home phone activation, but I did make it my problem. And I have no doubt that if I had not taken ownership and persisted with getting the problem resolved, I would still be waiting for the telecommunications company to fix it.

Tags: Life, Personal Growth, Success //