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English culture, especially North American culture, does not like the idea of personal responsibility. If I got drunk at a bar and ended up in a car accident, I could sue the bar for serving me. If I broke into your home and tripped over the dog, I could sue you for damages.

Pop psychology and daytime television have filled our heads with the idea that it’s never our fault. We can blame our parents, the system, or (more recently) our genetic makeup.

And what have we ended up with? A couple of generations of people who refuse to take responsibility for their lives, saying “but it’s not my fault” every time something bad happens.

Fortunately the pendulum seems to be on the move heading the other direction. More people are taking responsibility for their lives, whether it’s through ideas like the Law of Attraction, or just a simple decision to make choices rather than react.

Even the daytime field has changed. American media mogul Oprah, who used to revel in the cult of victimhood, now focuses her energy on people who make choices and who take full responsibility for their lives.

So what does that mean for us? What does it mean to take personal responsibility?

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Tags: Personal Growth // 14 Comments »

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Many people have told me they’d like to meditate more regularly, but they just find it “too hard.” The reasons people see meditation as difficult vary.  For instance, perhaps they find themselves getting easily bored while sitting alone.  Or maybe anxious thoughts race through their minds, and they have trouble relaxing.

If you’re having a tough time keeping up your meditation practice, I want to offer a perspective that may help your motivation and focus.  The perspective is this:  meditation isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s actually a technique for noticing the patterns of thinking and acting that are blocking you from reaching your full potential.

In other words, when meditating feels difficult, that’s because it’s helping you see the places where you have room to grow.  As meditation teacher S.N. Goenka wrote, meditation “takes you to the deepest level of the mind and allows you to cut the roots of past conditioning.”
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Tags: Wellbeing // 43 Comments »

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I’m a big fan of change, as you can probably guess, since I’m writing on a blog called “The Change Blog”. I’m very much in favour of growth: people finding their path through life, taking the next steps, learning, discovering and doing new and fulfilling things.

Sometimes, though, it’s necessary to hold back from change. Sometimes, you might be tempted to implement a big change in your life – but a nagging feeling warns you against it. Not all changes are appropriate for everyone, and even if a change is right for you, you may need to be cautious about implementing it at the right time.

Over-hasty change can exact a high price. At a minimum, you’ll probably end up wasting some valuable time – and quite possibly some money. In worse cases, you could lose friends, spoil relationships, make yourself ill, or even suffer a financial set-back which takes you years to recover from.

So when might the price of change simply be too high? Here are a few situations when you might want to stop and think hard before making a particular change:

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Tags: Change // 15 Comments »

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Discovering how to live in and with gratitude has exploded onto the personal development scene. Many of us have cultivated a deep and intimate knowledge of things for which we are grateful. This is a tremendous step towards developing a positive life. Even so, maybe its time we turned our gratitude inside out and gave it more of a real world voice.

We’ve all probably come across the idea of keeping gratitude journals, using affirmations about gratitude, and so on.  Many of us work very, very hard at being grateful, at being aware of all mercies small and large. Many of us begin and end our days with written or prayerful litanies of instance after instance, person after person for which we give thanks.

These are all good things, but having made a place for gratitude to live in our hearts, minds and souls, we’re then offered an opportunity. We can lose sight of the fact that all good things in our lives have specific sources. Many people do things large and small that make our dreams, wishes, and affirmations possible. It’s far too easy to treat gratitude like a spiritual coin to be put in a cosmic vending machine, with the actual process all too often taken for granted.
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Tags: Gratitude // 14 Comments »

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I knew this guy in college who had a magnetic personality.  Actually, I still know him.  He’s a good friend of mine.  But, I first got to know him well in college.  He attracted people everywhere he went, like moths to a flame.  It was amazing to me how easily he started conversations with unfamiliar people about everyday topics, and within minutes, was joking and chatting with them like they were old friends.  I was a bit on the shy side, and didn’t really get too talkative with people until I got to know them well.  Of course, since I didn’t chat too often with people, it made it hard to get to know them.  I envied my friend’s ability to be so free from self-consciousness and wanted very much to be like him.  I began to watch him closely (without being too creepy) to try to figure out what it was that he did that made him so irresistible to other people.

In my pursuit of this magical ability to attract people to me, I began to read a lot of self-help books about positive self-image and people skills (early shades of Life Design!).  As I was doing this, and observing my friend, I began to understand what it was that set him apart from others.

Why is it that some people just seem to attract others?  What are they doing that is different than everyone else?  Is it something you’re born with, or can this ability be learned?  I believe that anyone can become this type of attractive individual.
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Tags: Relationships // 33 Comments »

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Welcome to this month’s issue of “The Creativity Times” – the online, not-for-print, ezine that explores the nature of creativity and gives you tips to improve your own creative abilities.  This month we’re featuring an interview with some of the top creative minds in the world.  Our ace reporter Art Viceity traveled far and wide, to gain access to some of the most elusive and creative minds in history.  Yes, I said history.  Art Viceity was also able to travel back in time and meet with the likes of Picasso, Dali and the grand daddy of creativity himself – Leonardo Di Vinci.  How is this possible you ask?  A little imagination, research and, ahem, creativity, went a long way in producing this piece.

Art:  What does it mean to be creative?

D. Webster: I’ll take that one, Art - I define creativity this way:  kr ē-ā-‘tiv-ət-ē  n:  Ability to create.  To bring into existence or to bring about by a course of action.

Leonardo D.: To me, creativity is the essence of my being and is the result of inspiration combined with scientific study.   One must use both halves of our brains in the creative process.  It is one thing to see the ordinary and another to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary.  I happen to paint, sculpt, practice architecture as well engage in a number of creative endeavors.  Others write, make music, generate ideas create pottery.  Creativity takes many forms and the expression of creativity is a personal choice. Everyone should chose what interest them.

P. Picasso: I agree Leonardo.  I love to paint, but anyone can be creative using any medium.  Creativity is the ability to come up with something new, or a twist on something that already exists.   It’s a broad term that applies to many different situations.

Ancient Zen Master: “Ah yes - to create, is to create”

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Tags: Personal Growth // 11 Comments »