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By Mark Harrison

“If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”  ~ Vincent Van Gogh

We are all beset with doubts sometimes. Even the most self-assured and successful people can be unsure of themselves. Some people are clearly more confident than others, though. To what extent this is ‘nature’ and ‘nurture’ is unclear, though I suspect that ‘nurture’ has a lot to do with it. I’ve seen my own confidence wax and wane over the years, and external factors have certainly played a part. Some signs that you might be lacking somewhat in confidence are:

• Thinking that other people are better than you
• Expecting the worst outcome
• Engaging in negative self-talk
• Feeling the need to justify your behavior to others
• Overreacting to criticism
• Not having many friends or avoiding social situations
• Body language that is defensive and closed.

If you have some of these traits, perhaps you need to consider building more confidence. Can this be done? I think it’s clear is that confidence, like most other traits, can be developed. Like a muscle, with training and in time, it can become strong and powerful. To put it another way: confidence is a habit – confidence begets confidence. Here are some training ideas to develop this most important of habits.

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This entry was posted on January 25, 2010 and is filed under: Confidence - 20 Comments »

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By Ali Hale

Broadly speaking, there are two political outlooks on change. Reactionaries see change as a bad thing, something to be treated with caution. Revolutionaries celebrate and embrace change.

Take, for instance, attitudes towards the rapid changes in society due to technology. A reactionary would voice concerns about children playing video games, about the short attention spans caused by the internet, and about security and privacy risks. A revolutionary would talk about the new possibilities created – new ways of working, new art forms, and new connections with people all around the world.

Who’s right? Neither. Sometimes, we need change in order to get rid of things which aren’t working. And sometimes, we need to recognize the value of what we already have.

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This entry was posted on January 21, 2010 and is filed under: Change - 13 Comments »

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By CA Mobley

My recent birthday gave me ample opportunity to reflect, as I always do, on my life thus far and what the forthcoming year means to me. As a woman I’ve become very aware of how our society puts an extreme amount of emphasis on aging as a marketing tool for beauty products (most of which are completely unnecessary and useless- but they smell good and look pretty!)

I find it fascinating how aggressive the marketing is aimed at being anything other than your age. Specifically if you’re a woman over 40- that is the target demo. Those are the ones to be convinced that everything about that age is wrong and must be changed immediately or something very bad may happen…. Everything is centered around: reclaiming youth, stopping the aging process, reversing signs of aging, stopping the clock, etc etc etc….

First of all, I believe whatever is going to happen to our skin/hair/nails/teeth is pre-genetically determined and there really isn’t anything we can do about it other than surgery (which I am completely in support of if it makes you feel good).

Secondly- I have no desire to go back in time. I lived through my 20s and 30’s and it was not all that fun all the time. Tight skin or not -there is a lot of emotional shit, angst, debt, insecurity and instability in those ages that I do not miss at all.  Those are the years to get to know yourself, experiment, overspend, over-drink, overeat, fuck up, re-do, try out, try again, quit, fail, keep trying and start figuring out what you want your life to really look like.

40 and over is the time to enjoy all that effort – not want to go back there!

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This entry was posted on January 18, 2010 and is filed under: Life - 13 Comments »

By Henri Junttila

Poker is a tricky game. If you aren’t familiar with the game it can seem like a game of random events, when in reality the game has intricate patterns and a culture of its own. Poker has a large degree of luck, which means that it will take longer for the true results to converge.

In case you haven’t read my story, I was a professional online poker player for almost five years until I jumped over to making money online with websites. I stopped playing because it was destroying my soul (more on this later).

While I’m no longer a professional poker player, I do appreciate the positives ways in which poker transformed my life:

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This entry was posted on January 14, 2010 and is filed under: Change - 6 Comments »

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By Peter Clemens

Prior to 2009 I had very little experience with gambling. This changed, however, when one night in early 2009 I was invited to play Texas hold’em poker with some friends. I had no idea what I was doing, and unsurprisingly came away little bit poorer (say $20). Despite this small loss my interest in poker was sparked.

In the middle of 2009 I was invited to celebrate my brother-in-law’s birthday in Las Vegas. While I had now read a couple of books on Texas hold’em, I had very little experience actually playing the game (just two subsequent occasions with the same friends). Not wanting to be seen as a donkey (that’s a poker term for a bad player) in Vegas, I decided to gain some experience by playing online.

While you can play online poker with pretend money, it is basically a waste of time because people don’t act as they do when real money is at stake. This hints at the major reason I enjoy poker – there is a good deal of psychology involved. Because poker is a game of incomplete information, players must make educated guesses as to what will happen next and what their opponents are holding.

After a month or two of regularly playing online poker, the time finally came to head to Vegas. I was the only person in our group interested in poker, so most of the gambling I did in the first night/ day was at the blackjack table. I didn’t have much luck playing blackjack, but I found it a fun and sociable game to play. On the second night I decided to split from my group and hit the poker tables solo.

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This entry was posted on January 11, 2010 and is filed under: Change - 25 Comments »

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By Mark Harrison

How are your New Year’s resolutions? Are you still going strong or are you flagging already? When we first make a resolution or set a goal, we are naturally motivated to make progress and so we can’t wait to get out there and make things happen. But, of course, resolutions often fall by the wayside – I recently read an anecdotal statistic that 95% of New Year’s resolutions are never followed through.

So is there any point in making them? Obviously, people do succeed in achieving their goals – 5% at least! There are, essentially, two rules for becoming successful. Set goals, and take consistent action towards them. Most people don’t even do the first part, and of the minority of people that do, most will not follow through. There are many reasons for our lack of resolution. Here are some common ones, and some suggestions for overcoming them.

We set the wrong goals

It is surprisingly common for people to set targets which are inappropriate for them or for their circumstances. Goals should be challenging, though not overwhelming. They should be quite specific and measurable, but you don’t need to obsess about detail. It’s OK to leave a bit latitude and to change the goal if necessary. I am not a big fan of ‘realistic’ goals – who is to say what is considered ‘realistic’? Many people have achieved what may have appeared to be totally ‘unrealistic’ goals through great determination and persistence.

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This entry was posted on January 8, 2010 and is filed under: Goals - 11 Comments »