Change Your Life | The Change Blog

Why Being Fired Was the Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me

For some reason, my bachelor’s degree in creative writing and my master’s degree in literature landed me a position as a middle manager in a local bank’s organization. It was a job where I rarely got to put my literary skills on display, but it was also a job that sufficiently paid the bills — and funded a growing savings account. I decided, for quite some time, that this was a fact which made me happy. I could overlook paying for student loans that funded an education which I used in virtually no aspect of my job, just so long as I could furnish my particular lifestyle.

It all came crashing down roughly around the same time that the economy also came crashing down. Banks weren’t exactly high on the list of resilient companies during the most recent economic downturn and I, as one of the newer employees at this particular financial institution, was one of the first people on the chopping block. Armed with two weeks to finish my job, as well as a semi-generous severance package, I walked back to my desk after receiving my so-called “pink slip” and prepared for the worst.

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I Didn’t Do Anything Today!

“I didn’t do anything today!” I always end my day with this frustration. There is too little time and too much I want to achieve and too many people to see.

Before going to bed, I think about all the things I have not done: I did not practice my taichi, I did not practice calligraphy, I did not run, I did not write a blog post, I did not check in with my doctor, I did not reply to emails…

I live with fear that I’m wasting my time being ill, that people are passing me by every day, surpassing me, and they will get to where I want to be before me. I compare to the extreme and I beat myself up for not doing what everyone else is doing i.e. having a respected job, earning the big bucks I used to, and getting on with life.

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Changing Your Body Image

For most of my life, my happiness depended on the reflection I saw in the mirror.

I was convinced that the way I looked and the number I saw on the scale determined my worthiness as a daughter, sister, girlfriend and later a wife.

This completely ridiculous notion led to more than 2 decades of misery. During those years I felt trapped inside my body, without any hope to ever be able to find relief or a way to free myself. I lived in a state of oppression and despised everything about myself and my appearance.

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How Asking for Help Makes You Grow

We live in a society where we more or less consciously are told that unless you take care of yourself, no one will – at least in the Western world. You’re on your own. This can be exhilarating. You have the power over your own future. But it also implies that unless you do it yourself, you didn’t deserve it. You cheated somehow. We have all seen the lone wolf entrepreneur who single-handedly launches a successful company or two, fuelled by caffeine and applauded as a genius by us mortals. We’re almost conditioned not to ask for help.

When you have a problem, asking for help sounds like an obvious solution. Yet we so often choose to struggle with our problems alone, sometimes even going so far as to isolate ourselves or pretend that everything is all right when that is far from the truth.

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Breaking through Stereotypes

When we moved into our new house last year, our neighbor’s yard looked like junkyard material. Among the debris lay a rotting shed, rusted over RV, and stagnant water pool. To make matters worse, the only way into their back yard was through a shared driveway that passed through our property. Since we had children, we weren’t exactly thrilled about the situation.

Our concerns heightened when we talked to the other neighbors. We heard stories of vagrants living in the RV, playing loud music and keeping everyone up at night. The neighbors also claimed that the owner, while a “good person,” was often out of town, letting random friends have run of the property. Both claims seemed legitimate since we saw lights in the RV at night, but no one ever answered the front door during the day.

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Live For A Purpose Bigger Than Yourself

I was at an evangelical Christian wedding last year and the groom’s father made an interesting point in what was a very inspiring speech. He said the marriage was going to be strong because it would exist for a purpose bigger than itself, it would exist for God.

In the past I know I would have thought that this was stupid because I have never been a big fan of religion. I’m still not a fan of religion but now I understand the benefits of living for something greater than yourself. It doesn’t really matter what it is, as long as you are living for something you receive some major benefits.

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There’s No Magic System to Fix Your Life

How often have you bought yet another book or audio program or product that promises to revolutionize your life?

How often have you taken a seminar or class or course that sounds like the solution to all your problems?

How often has it worked?

We’d all like a magic-bullet solution to our problems. Whether you’re trying to lose weight, make more money, or finally get organized, there’s no shame in wishing it was easy.

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Don’t Study the Basics, Learn By “Grazing”

If you really want to learn something, don’t worry about learning the basics first. Just go about gathering knowledge wherever you find it, doing things you like to do. Instead of trying to build a house of knowledge, one brick at a time, starting from the foundation, try to learn by “grazing”, following whatever attracts your interest. You will find that apparently aimless “grazing” will take you over increasingly familiar ground, and your grasp of the subject will naturally deepen.

At school we are taught that we need to learn things in a certain order, according to the curriculum, so that we can pass our tests. Learning is divided up into short spurts of activity, with the class subject changing every 30-40 minutes. The teacher decides what we are going to learn and at what pace. We are usually dissuaded from going ahead of the teacher to pursue things that interest us. We don’t have the luxury of staying with a subject of interest for a whole morning, let alone weeks at a time.

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