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Twelve years ago I had a breakdown. My mother died, I lost eight friends/relatives in one year, my kids were struck by lightning in a parasailing accident, and my dad was dying of bone cancer.
Shattered dreams, unmet expectations, and loss can certainly cause us to lose heart. If you’ve ever been there, if your heart has ever been shattered and your recollection of the pain is still fresh, you know what I’m talking about.
I have a confession to make. I haven’t always been a big picture thinker. I wasn’t always proactive. I haven’t always had aspirations to change the world. Rewind 7 years, and I was just another dumb kid coasting along in life. I had no long-term plan in mind, no money, and all I thought about was how long I was going to be able to play video games that day.
In high school I did well enough. I operated with the thought that I would go through college, get a good job, and live a nice comfortable lifestyle, but I had no idea what it was going to be like. I went through college with the same mindset, thinking my degree was going to get me all I needed to life the life of my dreams. I wasn’t much of a go-getter. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was lost, and I was spiraling towards a life of insignificance.
I used to have a list. He had to be tall. He definitely had to be smart. He had to have brown hair and blue eyes, hmmm.. I guess dark eyes are also OK. The list went on and on. I had many relationships where I tried to stick as close as possible to this list, most of which didn’t last for more than a few months. But then, I seemed to hit the jackpot.
This man satisfied every requirement I had ever had to the ‘T’. He was tall, exceptionally smart, had the same religious background as me, and spoke all the same languages. To top it all off, he had those sparking, deep blue eyes. I was certain that I had found my life partner.
I have an admission to make: I am a man. The reason this will matter is I am about to talk about the pain of childbirth. What could a man possibly know about it, right? So I have a request: give me the benefit of the doubt for now.
It all started when my wife went into labor with our first child. I’m an empathetic guy and my little lady was suffering. She was only 127 pounds at nine months pregnant and our daughter who was about to be born was almost seven of those pounds. She was having a natural childbirth so she wanted no drugs before the child was born. That was all very noble when this was all just theory but now it was really happening.
Organize your desk? Be a better listener at work? Find someone to help you find your passion in life?
Every month or so I wake up and remember that my life can use more improvement.
I don’t want you to think that I’m unhappy. Far from it. My life is better than I ever expected. But I don’t want to stand still. I want to move forward, challenge myself, and improve my life. If I don’t, what kind of example do I set for my clients?
You are proud of yourself: you have lost weight and you feel like a champion!
Then someday, something relatively harmless happens: while walking in a mall, you see someone eating a delicious looking ice cream dessert. It doesn’t take long until you start feeling like eating the same kind of dessert yourself. In fact, you turn back on your heels and walk in to the ice cream bar – and order the same dessert as other person you just saw. As days go by, you start to eat ice cream more and more. Also, other types of sweets and desserts become familiar to you too.