The most recent stories from The Change Blog community.
When we experience resentments, we are forcing ourselves to repeatedly feel angry, hurt, annoyed, or upset about a single situation. We all experience feelings of resentment at various times in our lives. What we don’t realize, is that this masochistic cycle of self-obsession only hurts ourselves.
I realized that by holding onto resentments, I was ruining my life. I didn’t realize that my resentments were weighing me down with negativity which prevented me from being able to live in the moment, or experience gratitude. I desperately wanted to be able to access happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose. But, in order for me to feel content with my life and experience genuine serenity, I had to first let go of my resentments that were holding me back from being truly happy.
It’s well over four years since I first wrote a post for The Change Blog … and during that time, my own life has changed dramatically. Today is also a goodbye (and you’ll understand why when you get to the end of this post).
Today is also a goodbye (and you’ll understand why when you get to the end of this post). Thanks for being part of my journey – and I hope that you’ll find something in my experiences that gives you new inspiration or motivation with your own life. Here are the past four and a half years in my life … and what I learned from them
Attachment theory was something I learned about as an undergrad in psychology; a concept that was studied, memorized for the test and discarded from memory shortly afterwards. I never thought the term would have any real relevance in my own life.
My “aha moment” occurred during a wellness retreat in Northern New Mexico when I realized that my relationship with my mother has been a powerful influence on my interactions with men. My mother!? Really? And all this time I thought my “daddy issues” were the source of all problems in my romantic relationships!
Just 15 years ago, if you had asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have told you that I would be a professional musician. This news would shock just about anyone that I know, today–but fifteen years ago, there was nothing in my life that indicated anything otherwise.
My entire life was music. I had gone to a performing arts high school where regular math, science and English classes were supplemented with courses in your major, and I was a music major. I played five instruments and participated in 5 different groups. Each year, I prepared solos or ensembles to take to district and state competitions.
Imagine if you were offered a trip back in time so you can undo your biggest regret. If you could live your life all over again, what’s the one thing you would do differently? When I ask myself that question, the words shoot out of my mouth without even thinking: my educational and career choices.
It turns out I’m not alone. In the book If Only, author Neale J. Roese, Ph.D., cites a series of studies conducted by independent researchers who were interested in finding out what adults consider their biggest regrets. During the period of 1989–-2003, adults of all ages were asked the questions: If you could go back and live your life all over again, what would you do differently? What parts of your life would you change? With eleven studies in all, the researchers discovered that the following four regrets appear consistently at the top of the list, in this order, in study after study.
Interested in having more likeminded people in your life? Who wouldn’t, right? Finding these people can be extremely easy, if you go about it smartly. You are a unique person with unique interests. But you might not have people in your life to share these interests with. Where are these people hiding? If the internet has proved anything, it’s that you’re not alone. These days, you can find thousands of people around the world with interests similar to yours.
Interacting with these people online is great, but it doesn’t compare to actually meeting with them in the real world. Unfortunately, it isn’t as easy to find these people in the flesh. But there’s one convenient technique that allows these people to find you, instead of you having to search for them.