The most recent stories from The Change Blog community.
Are you struggling to make changes in your life?
Perhaps you always start off with good intentions – but slowly, old habits creep back in. You promise yourself that this week, you’re going to eat healthily – and you do fine on Monday. But on Tuesday, your boss buys donuts for the office, and then on Wednesday, it’s a friend’s birthday party and you just can’t resist that chocolate cake…
If your attempts at change seem to get constantly derailed, then you might want to consider setting some clear, non-negotiable rules.
Having friends and meaningful relationships is arguably one of the most important keys to happiness in life. It probably the most important key, aside from our health, to our overall happiness and well-being, and there are a few key skills to remember that can not only improve your relationships, but also provide massive benefits to your mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Some of these took me years to realize, but I wanted to write an article based on the wealth of experience I’ve had during my spiritual journey, and about 8 keys to instantly make any relationship more fulfilling, whether it’s romantic, friendship, acquaintances, or even someone you meet just one time.
For many years I put on a great show for the people in my life. Who I was at the moment depended on who was in front of me at that time. I was a chameleon.
To be honest with you, there wasn’t much that I liked about myself. So I was certain that if you knew the “real me”, you wouldn’t like me either. My need for acceptance and love would kick in and I became whoever you needed me to be. Actually, whoever I thought you’d like.
We recognize that change can be good for us. It’s obvious that quitting smoking, losing weight or developing the running habit will improve our life’s.
Yet we fail at change over and over again. Why? One reason is you’re doing it wrong. You’re practicing the deadly sins of change.
But another reason runs deeper. You’re afraid to change. You procrastinate because deep down, you’re scared to take the plunge, even if it leads to a better life.
It seems to be this way every year—one morning I wake up and it’s suddenly summer. Everything seems once again alive and moving. I’m relieved for the sunshine and the cleansing rain of an afternoon thunderstorm.
As I was walking my dog this morning it occurred to me that, as much as I think I’m enjoying the summer, I haven’t really been taking advantage of it the way I should be. I haven’t been embracing the moment. I still find myself inside participating in activities much more suited to the winter months—watching movies, baking, spending hours on the computer. It’s not that these things don’t have value, but it’s time for me to stop thinking about the beauty of summer and start actually enjoying it. Here’s what I’m going to do to start being present this summer:
I recently came to some new conclusions about developing self-confidence, namely finding the confidence to make changes in one’s life (such as living a more meaningful life). They’re a bit unconventional (actually, they’re the exact opposite of how most people will tell you to develop confidence). I’ll share my epiphany with you first, and then tell you about a recent experience that got me there:
Many people say: first, try to build your self-confidence by convincing yourself to feel good (e.g. dress well, seek positive affirmations, etc.; and then go try to change the world). But I realized that never worked. No matter how “confident” I felt, I could never feel confident to do what I wanted to do. I realized, then, that this approach was completely wrong.