“Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.” – Norton Luster
As a child, I grew up with extroverted parents. I found myself surrounded by people who found comfort in spoken words, and viewed silence as a treacherous and inhumane quality, but to their alarm; I turned out to be a quiet and thoughtful introvert.
My silence always caused me to be viewed as an outsider, an aberration, a person that needed to be changed. My silence was misunderstood by my friends, my family, and even by the vast majority of strangers. I thought I needed to metamorphose into a different creature, one that was alien to my nature, because people made me think that I was “broken”, that my silence would stop me from making friends, being successful, from changing the world and helping people.
For years I tried to reach out of my comfort zone; experience new things. I would put myself through situations of discomfort, social states I felt unnecessary to cope with, but no matter how hard I tried, I knew that I was never going to be like my extroverted companions. These thoughts and feelings hovered in my head, shrouding the truth, and causing uncertainty to surge.
These feelings continued happening for years, and as I ventured through the initial path of adolescence, they worsened. My classmates and friends would only identify me for my quietness, as if that was the only thing that represented me. The words “oh…you are so quiet”, were always said with an ignominious tone. Society and the media were only worsening the situation, but a few a years ago, I understood the value of my introversion, my silence, and my soft heart, and I stopped feeling the need to change one of the things that essentially made me who I am.
After sixteen years, I wholly take pride in being an introvert, and therefore, feel the need to help those that feel the way I did. If like me, you find comfort in your thoughts, do not consider it worrying, instead marvel at your ideas and simply ponder on the awe-inspiring fact of being. Our lack of words does not mean that we do not have valuable thoughts, and if you consider something to be too valuable to share at a given moment, then feel the freedom to remain silent. In spite of the common belief, words do not always change the world, they do not make people fall in love, and they do not necessarily represent happiness; actions and feelings do. Do not be daunted by someone’s words, and even though you may be caught up in your head, struck the world with the precise words needed at a given moment, because it’s not the quantity, but the quality that make a remarkable difference.
Admire the beauty, wonder, and necessity of extroverts without questioning your own, because without the personality differences, the world would not function properly. Let your silence spark your creativity, bring out the real being that has been hiding within your soul, and once you do so, explore your passion and change the world, without allowing the world to change the things that essentially make you who you are, because if you do not use your introversion for great things, then who will?
I am at once amazed at your depth of thought and grateful for a fellow soul who embraces silence and introversion. My son, now twenty, is very much the introvert that you describe-a most thoughtful, introspective, contemplative person. Those are beautiful traits. gifts which can indeed change the world. Thank you so very much for your post!
Thank you very much! It is really heart warming to know that you liked it.
Thank you!
Hi Natasha you write beautifully. If you are sixteen, you are well ahead of many writers already in terms of your ability to grasp an audience. Your introversion is your strength, not your weakness. I meet many ‘introverts’ on my self-confidence courses. They often see this characteristic as being a hurdle to feeling confident and being confident. We talk about this a lot before they realise their mistake. Thank you for an inspiring post. Keep them coming!
Thank you so much Mike! I am honored and it makes me really happy to know that you connected with the post.
I can relate to most of it. Learning all that on your own takes a great deal of courage to be yourself when the world is pushing you not to be. Thanks for sharing.
good work. You are a good writer . I mean you are too good in converting your each experience in beautiful word. You know what, being introvert is good bcz there is no one to cheat you, use as they dnt know about you. You are a lucky girl.
I can very well relate to u. It was like u were telling parts of my life. I don’t like socializing, but that doesn’t mean that I am an alien. Thanks for the post……
Keep sharing your experiences……..
Swati
Beautifully written :)
Natasha, i am delighted to find a person like me . I thought i was the only person on this earth to go through this vision of being quit. I am 18 yrs old n my introvertness was not into light for me until i passed my school . When i went to high school i met new people n every one was like you dont seem to talk much n by then i realised that somethings wrong with me … I made no new friends in high school . My school friends were only friends i had . I felt lost and lonely , every passing day was painful like never before n all i wish to do was run away from this life . I grew more awkward infront of people. I never felt comfortable with new people. These things disturbed me alot and am still coping with it n i feel very isolated . One day i decided i will talk n i started talking to people but every time i tried to make friend i felt ignored . This worsened my condition even more . My love life was also disturbing . And i really dont know how to get of this.. I searched on net n i found sombody like me … Help me out!
Hey Scarlet! First of all, thank you for reading my story.
I completely understand what you went through and the feelings you are experiencing. I myself, changed schools three times, and every time I felt like I was being misplaced from a place I could learn to call “home”. I turned 17 in December and now I’m in college and some days it baffles me how small my group of friends is. I meet new people every day and we talk but it seems incredibly hard to create lasting and meaningful relationships. But trust me, there is nothing wrong with you. Yes, we may be awkward and quirky and quiet but, who says those are bad traits? Embrace the things in you that other people see as weaknesses. We may be quiet and shy but we have qualities that the world needs. It will take time to find the right people, but they will come. You will find your home in the way these people you love say your name. Even if it is just one close friend; if you love them, that is more than enough, because a lot of people don’t even get that in life. Remember, popularity and a big friend group don’t signify happiness. All I ask is for you to never change who you are in order to make friends because it will never be right. Let people love you for the beauty within you, your light, and if somebody doesn’t like it then that is very sad because that means the can’t recognize the beauty in front of them. You’ve got a new friend. You’ve got me. You can contact me, or give me your email and I would love to keep talking and helping you in whatever way possible. Smile more and worry less!