Comments on: Switching to a Bold Mindset

By: 100 Ways To Show Boldness

100 Ways To Show Boldness — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 23:30:08 +0000

[...] but to create one about boldness. I have written about boldness in this quote analysis, and this guest post, and so it was natural that it would be the topic of concern [...]

By: Brian

Brian — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 03:08:28 +0000

Being bold has been difficult for me since I was young. There are reasons of course,but the consequences of lacking boldness are apparent in my life. The difficulty of becoming bolder has been real, although it is easy to recognize the truth of why it is essential to a well lived life. I do feel it is important to offer a window into the struggle to better understand the position that some of us start with. It almost always begins with some form of not feeling “good enough”

The feeling of “not being good enough” starts early and when not recognized and/or challenged, takes firm root in the adult personality. Beyond all calls to “just do it” lies a truth that I think sometimes goes unrecognized.

There is an inherent “understanding” in the ‘not good enough’ belief that success in any form will come slowly, if at all. So as we inch our way along with this burdensome belief, it makes any progress precious and the thought of any setback devastating. Therefore while the upside of stepping out and facing fears is great, failure is not viewed as just a temporary setback for some. Rather it becomes yet another unwelcome unveiling of what we’ve always feared is true about ourselves. When this is your belief, you run from situations that might expose you further.

Layered on this life of fear is always procrastination. Procrastination here serves as preservation. It works like this. Whenever I shrink. Whenever I don’t try anyway, there is a guaranteed upside. That is that I can still say to myself that I might have succeeded. That I might have been good enough. And that guarantee is almost always viewed as better than risking more proof I’m not. Those who know this life, know how much deeper that stings. It is the risk we cannot endure, and so we search for magic where there is none, rather than step out.

I know the truth is that looking back on all the lost opportunities, will ultimately be more painful than stepping out and boldly risking the pain along the way. I’ve already experienced it first hand in my life. What’s most sad to me is realizing that I choose it anyway.

I don’t know how much success I would have to experience to successfully counter this feeling. I had my share surprisingly, but still with no relief. Boldness in the face of this feeling is still possible certainly. It is however a step that sometimes seems beyond difficult. I write to be helpful for those that try to understand this path. It is if nothing else, a counterintuitive process.

I very much appreciate your prospective. It offers in many ways, a practical and strong roadmap to a better place. Thank you.

By: Armen Shirvanian

Armen Shirvanian — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:44:16 +0000

@Omar, Thanks for that. It certainly is a trap that is worth getting reminded about getting or keeping out of. Next time you catch yourself overthinking, cut off your thinking right there, and make the choice that fits you better. Since the quality of each decision we make can decrease the longer we give ourselves time to decide, it isn’t like we are getting some benefit by setting “2 days to think it over”, unless that 2 days is full of research to support one decision or another.

Your input is appreciated.

By: Armen Shirvanian

Armen Shirvanian — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:23:57 +0000

@Chris Phone, People sure do come and go. It doesn’t make sense to make a certain decision based on someone who we might not even be talking to in a year. We are usually way off when we try to come off as friendly.

By: Armen Shirvanian

Armen Shirvanian — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:06:46 +0000

@Jonny, There sure is a huge power in it. Sometimes, people will not understand that you were being bold, and jump to the conclusion that you are of a higher caliber than most, which is not bad either. It is tough to go wrong when boldness and positive progression merge.

By: Armen Shirvanian

Armen Shirvanian — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:04:30 +0000

@nuke, I hear you on that note. That is a lot of examples you provided, and that lets others see that it is all over the place that you want to go your own route, as it is tougher but better for yourself, which in turn sets a better example for others anyway. A relationship tends to “have problems” not when the people involved can’t get along with each other, but when one of them starts to become weak and do poorly in their personal activities.

I am glad the article had an eye-opening effect, as changes are always easier now than a year from now.