What’s Your Mindset Costing You?

What’s Your Mindset Costing You?

“One of the main weaknesses of mankind is the average person’s familiarity with the word ‘impossible.’ He knows all the rules that will not work. He knows all the things that cannot be done.” – Napoleon Hill

I was in NYC with my mom and had a short conversation with a woman during our bus ride. She was about 55 years old, used a cane, and was at least 75 pounds overweight. As a result of being hit by a drunk driver several years ago, she told us, “she was limited physically.” I listened to her story and understood her challenges. However, a different story flashed in my mind of Anthony Robles who won the 2011 NCAA Wrestling Championships in the 125-pound weight division. He also was limited physically because he was born with one leg but still managed to become a champion athlete and one of the most accomplished wrestlers in Arizona State history. Two people with limiting factors in their life, yet two very different outcomes.

We all have a story. Many of us believe our story defines us, but what really defines us is how we interpret the story or facts and choose to move forward.

According to the National Science Foundation, our brains produce as many as 50,000 thoughts per day. Ninety-five percent of these thoughts are repeated daily.

Your thoughts become your beliefs which, in turn, become your mindset. Your mindset governs your actions, which lead to your results. In short, if you have a mindset that limits your potential then you will likely accept limited results in your life.

Be honest, do you have a mindset that limits what’s possible in your life or one that encourages you to see potential and possibility and move past obstacles? Are you more familiar with the words can’t, unattainable, and impossibleor do you naturally see solutions and challenge the status quo?

One of the most effective ways to change your mindset is to be honest with yourself and consider the following question:

“What is your current mindset costing you?”

Are you staying in a corporate job you dislike because you have convinced yourself you are not qualified to do anything else or start your own business and be an entrepreneur?

This could be preventing you from feeling excited about your day, finding your passion, and making a valuable contribution to the world.

Are you staying in an unfulfilling relationship because you have convinced yourself you can’t meet anyone else or don’t deserve better?

This could be preventing you from meeting a loving life partner who respects you and wants to build a great life together.

Are you applying to college or graduate school programs but not challenging yourself to reach for the best school (for you) because you’ve convinced yourself you’re not smart enough to get in to a better school?

This could cost you job opportunities, earnings growth, and a valuable network further down the road.

Sometimes it’s hard to quantify the costs of having a limiting mindset but they are real and show up in every facet of your life on a physical, emotional, mental, financial, and spiritual level. Is your mindset costing you happiness, good health, time, love, money, laughter, opportunities, or peace of mind?

Take a moment and move through the key areas of your life — Career, Relationships, Finances, Fun & Creativity, and Healthy Living — to consider if your mindset is holding you back from reaching your greatest potential. This exercise is fun to do with a friend as well.

Remember, you decide how you think and what becomes a can or can’t. Start asking yourself what’s possible and what you really want to accomplish.

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: Our thoughts are powerful because they create the mindset that we live by. In moving forward, sometimes you need to take a moment to reflect if you have all the internal resources necessary to be your best – mindset is one of them. It’s time to be aware what your current mindset is costing you.

“People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret to success.” – Norman Vincent Peale

Photo by Helga Weber

Alissa Finerman

Alissa is a Professional Life Coach, motivational speaker, and author of “Living in Your Top 1%: Nine Essential Rituals to Achieve Your Ultimate Life Goals” available on Amazon.com. She works with individuals and organizations to help them think bigger, redefine what’s possible, and get results. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. To learn more and to take the Living in Your Top 1% quiz, please visit www.AlissaFinerman.com or www.facebook.com/alissafinermantop1.

Latest posts by Alissa Finerman (see all)

19 Comments

  1. Alissa — you’re definitely onto something here. Mindset is crucially important it, and it’s great to see you focusing on it. Your post makes me think of the book Mindset by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck. She contends there’s essentially two kinds of mindsets — growth and fixed. People with growth mindsets believe success is ultimately grounded in effort, so they work hard to improve no matter how accomplished or unskilled they are at something. Those with fixed mindsets believe they can’t go farther than their natural talent takes them. But they can transition to a growth mindset if they want. Highly recommend the book for those not familiar with it!

    Reply
    • Great feedback Stephen. I’m very familiar with Carol Dweck’s book and discuss her work in RItual Two (Embrace a Can-do Mindset) of my book, Living in Your Top 1%. Mindset is one of the building blocks for success. Her book is excellent as well. Thanks, Alissa

      Reply
  2. Great stories Alissa. I have been on a mindset binge with my FB & blog readers recently(with more to come). Your mindset determines your day, week, month, year, Life. Choose the right one. You have covered this well, thankyou.
    be good to yourself
    David

    Reply
  3. Hi Alissa,

    A wonderful perspective indeed and I need to acknowledge you for that.

    Yes, what we become and the journey we undertake is a mindset issue. But what differentiates one mindset from another? We could always rationalise this based on our underlying beliefs but this, apart from from providing an explanation, does not take us anywhere.

    So what is it that moves some of us forward? And here I would like to bring in our
    ” Personal Internal Commitments”. I recently wrote about this at :

    http://esgeemusings.com/2012/01/26/i-am/

    I would love to have you and other readers check this out and comment back.

    Cheers and God bless.

    Shakti

    Reply
  4. This is so true, it is all in the mindset! Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    • Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts! Alissa :)

      Reply
  5. Yes, the mindset definitely costs everybody. But it is very difficult, atleast for me to apply this on all points covered here. I mean about relationships. Don’t you agree that life is about giving and taking, and not winning? That way no one can always be in agreement with his partner. Then as per this, it will be a continuous story of changing partners! Partners will get thrown away only to be found suitable by someone else! People may play games taking advantage of this view. Especially with eastern values, not evrything can be covered by this.

    Reply
    • Hi and thanks for reading. The main point I was trying to convey is that our mindset relates to all areas of our life. And many people forget that they decide how they think and what becomes a can or can’t. I think it’s important to put yourself in a position to succeed and mindset plays a big role.

      Alissa

      Reply
  6. I don’t create limiting stories about myself and what can be done. Like most, there was a time when I did but after seeing and hearing what so many so called “limited people” were able to create with their lives I had to drop my own stories of why something cannot be accomplished.

    Reply
  7. Completely agree. The mindset is hugely important.
    I have been struggling recently with what I belive is my unconscious.
    It keeps telling me to stay in bed all day either when I can get away with ir and sometimes when I’m suppose to be at work. This I have given into and has cost me a job recently. I have gone back to my old job and I feel ashamed that I lost the previous job. I am now trying to move into my interest (events) I am getting forward but for now I’m stuck at this job.

    Reply
    • You are not stuck, Natty, you are getting there. I have learned that everyone learns and grows in their own time. There is no point in beating yourself up about the past – it was your learning time. There is no going right without going wrong first and learning which way is right. Be kind to yourself, Believe the Unbelievable, and good luck!

      Reply
  8. Thank you, Alissa. I especially needed to read this today! :)

    Reply
  9. This is a great post. Your attitude determines if you enjoy where you live, or if you will enjoy a vacation or visiting relatives. Approach is positively and with vigor, and you WILL have fun. People always talk about how it must have been awful for me to go to school in such a “boring” town…but I had a blast! Great friends was all that mattered….mindset.

    Reply
  10. Phenomenal post Alissa, we truly are the sum products of our thoughts and mindset. I thank you for your insight and time spent to send out these jewels. Great food for thought for a Monday morning. To your continued success.

    Reply
  11. Love this statement: “We all have a story…”

    The truth is that we are constantly creating the “stories” of our life’s experiences in the 50,000 thoughts we think.

    We tell ourselves the meanings of the things that happen to us. Isn’t that fascinating. One of the first things I do in a “bad” situation (like a death or unemployment) is to stop and start observing all the stories I’m telling. I literally try to write them down. Then I choose to suspend them temporarily until I have a chance too process the life-changing event.

    Usually helps me in a practical way to be more present and productive in the tough times.

    Reply
  12. Great Article Alissa. I think the idea behind the idea of a growth mindset and a fixed mindset is HUGE and we could all be reminded of it just about every day. In fact I too wrote a blog post about it a few months ago at http://smartliving365.com/?p=256 I am also very encouraged by all the recent info about brain plasticity that shows that our brains have the ability to continue to grow and be creative no matter what our age. Thanks for your article and I look forward to more.

    Reply
  13. Really a fantastic post for me. I’m wasting my time 95% of a day. In that time i’m not thinking what to do, my mindset also not working on that time. So thoughts all goes to useless works. I say my thoughts maybe 1,00,00 per a day. But it’s all goes to waste my life. A big thanks to Alissa Finerman for how to cost my mindset on thoughts.

    Reply
  14. my fiance always says i have “limiting beliefs” and it cost me any possible opportunity that can come my way because i’m closed to them
    open it up, let go of fear, and it’ll be fun!
    Noch Noch

    Reply
  15. Our Mindset is very important to our life. If we keep out mind on bad things or worry to much then our mindset is off. Though if we focus our mindset on great things like success and living a happy life then we can move more closer to what we want in life. Mindset is the key!

    Regards
    Aslam

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>