How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

If the only prayer you say in your life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice. – Meister Eckhart

By Marelisa Fabrega

Gratitude means thankfulness, counting your blessings, noticing simple pleasures, and acknowledging everything that you receive. It means learning to live your life as if everything were a miracle, and being aware on a continuous basis of how much you’ve been given. Gratitude shifts your focus from what your life lacks to the abundance that is already present. In addition, behavioral and psychological research has shown the surprising life improvements that can stem from the practice of gratitude. Giving thanks makes people happier and more resilient, it strengthens relationships, it improves health, and it reduces stress.

Research Shows Gratitude Heightens Quality of Life

Two psychologists, Michael McCollough of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, and Robert Emmons of the University of California at Davis, wrote an article about an experiment they conducted on gratitude and its impact on well-being. The study split several hundred people into three different groups and all of the participants were asked to keep daily diaries. The first group kept a diary of the events that occurred during the day without being told specifically to write about either good or bad things; the second group was told to record their unpleasant experiences; and the last group was instructed to make a daily list of things for which they were grateful. The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy. In addition, those in the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, were more likely to help others, exercised more regularly, and made greater progress toward achieving personal goals.

Dr. Emmons – who has been studying gratitude for almost ten years and is considered by many to be the world’s leading authority on gratitude – is author of the book, “Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier”. The information in this book is based on research involving thousands of people conducted by a number of different researchers around the world. One of the things these studies show is that practicing gratitude can increase happiness levels by around 25%. This is significant, among other things, because just as there’s a certain weight that feels natural to your body and which your body strives to maintain, your basic level of happiness is set at a predetermined point. If something bad happens to you during the day, your happiness can drop momentarily, but then it returns to its natural set-point. Likewise, if something positive happens to you, your level of happiness rises, and then it returns once again to your “happiness set-point”. A practice of gratitude raises your “happiness set-point” so you can remain at a higher level of happiness regardless of outside circumstances.

In addition, Dr. Emmons’ research shows that those who practice gratitude tend to be more creative, bounce back more quickly from adversity, have a stronger immune system, and have stronger social relationships than those who don’t practice gratitude. He further points out that “To say we feel grateful is not to say that everything in our lives is necessarily great. It just means we are aware of our blessings.”

Notice and Appreciate Each Day’s Gifts

People tend to take for granted the good that is already present in their lives. There’s a gratitude exercise that instructs that you should imagine losing some of the things that you take for granted, such as your home, your ability to see or hear, your ability to walk, or anything that currently gives you comfort. Then imagine getting each of these things back, one by one, and consider how grateful you would be for each and every one. In addition, you need to start finding joy in the small things instead of holding out for big achievements—such as getting the promotion, having a comfortable nest egg saved up, getting married, having the baby, and so on–before allowing yourself to feel gratitude and joy.

Another way to use giving thanks to appreciate life more fully is to use gratitude to help you put things in their proper perspective. When things don’t go your way, remember that every difficulty carries within it the seeds of an equal or greater benefit. In the face of adversity ask yourself: “What’s good about this?”, “What can I learn from this?”, and “How can I benefit from this?”

There are Many Ways to Practice Gratitude

A common method to develop the practice of gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal, a concept that was made famous by Sarah Ban Breathnach’s book “Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude”. This exercise basically consists of writing down every day a list of three to ten things for which you are grateful; you can do this first thing in the morning or before going to bed at night. Another exercise you can try is to write a gratitude letter to a person who has exerted a positive influence in your life but whom you have not properly thanked. Some experts suggest that you set up a meeting with this person and read the letter to them face to face.

Last year millions of people took the challenge proposed by Will Bowen, a Kansas City minister, to go 21 days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. To help condition the participants to stop complaining, they each wore a purple No-Complaint wristband. Several authors in the self-improvement genre have suggested that people do something similar to help condition themselves to be constantly aware of the things in life that they’re grateful for.

A variation of the wristband concept is to create a gratitude charm bracelet, with either one meaningful charm or different charms representing the things you’re most grateful for. For example, you could have a charm shaped like a heart to symbolize your significant other, figurines to represent different family members, an apple to represent health, a dollar sign to symbolize abundance, a charm that represents your current profession or a future career, and maybe a charm that makes you laugh to represent humor and joy.

Conclusion

Once you become oriented toward looking for things to be grateful for, you will find that you begin to appreciate simple pleasures and things that you previously took for granted. Gratitude should not be just a reaction to getting what you want, but an all-the-time gratitude, the kind where you notice the little things and where you constantly look for the good even in unpleasant situations. Today, start bringing gratitude to your experiences, instead of waiting for a positive experience in order to feel grateful; in this way, you’ll be on your way toward becoming a master of gratitude.

Author bio: written by Marelisa Fabrega who blogs at http://abundance-blog.marelisa-online.com.

Images by Gisela Giardino and Hamed Saber.

This entry was posted on November 26, 2009 and is filed under: Gratitude, Happiness, Relationships - 64 Comments »

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64 Comments

Todd
June 30th, 2008 at 7:45 am

It may be the most important virtue of all: gratitude. Practicing it alone can transform your life! Thank you,
Todd

Todds last blog post..24 Hours Of Living ‘In The Flow’

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kannan
June 30th, 2008 at 9:14 am

Hi Peter,

It is a nice article by Marelisa.
I read somewhere the following:
“I complain about not having shoes until i see a man without legs”.
We should be always thankful to God for all the things blessed on us.
Thank you GOD!

Thanks for sharing this.

Best Wishes,
Kannan Viswagandhi
http://www.growing-self.blogspot.com

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Marc and Angel Hack Life
June 30th, 2008 at 10:41 am

“The sun was shining in my eyes, and I could barely see
To do the necessary task that was allotted me.
Resentment of the vivid glow, I started to complain–
When all at once upon the air I heard the blindman’s cane.”
~ Earl Musselman ~

…gratitude!

Wonderful read. I gave it a Digg.

Marc and Angel Hack Lifes last blog post..21 Keys to Magnetic Likeability

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Marelisa
June 30th, 2008 at 11:07 am

Hi Todd: Very true.

“Gratitude is the mother of all virtues.”
-Marcus Cicero

Marelisas last blog post..The Sound of Laughter

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Marelisa
June 30th, 2008 at 11:10 am

Hi Kannan,

Yes, saying thank you is not just good manners, its good spirituality.

Marelisas last blog post..The Sound of Laughter

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Marelisa
June 30th, 2008 at 11:16 am

Hi Marc and Angel: I see everyone likes gratitude quotes Here’s one by Oprah:

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Oprah Winfrey

Marelisas last blog post..The Sound of Laughter

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Peter
June 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am

Marelisa,

I would like to show some gratitude by saying thank you for an excellent article. I particularly found your point about a “happiness set-point” to be very interesting. I hadn’t really considered it before, but it is so true that our happiness tends to return to a certain point despite fluctuating up and down.

One simple exercise I like to do is just before I fall asleep I will think of approximately 5 things I am thankful for.

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Marelisa
June 30th, 2008 at 11:34 am

My pleasure Peter, thank you for posting my article on your beautiful blog. Before I go to sleep I write in my gratitude journal (ten things) and then I try to think of ten new things I learned during the day.

Marelisas last blog post..The Sound of Laughter

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Mike Edwards
June 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am

I love your posts. I try to teach as best I can that when people approach their lives from a place of gratitude, that the universe responds by giving more. As a career coach, it is so difficult to convince people of that even though there is evidence all around us.

Thank you,

Mike Edwards

http://www.directyourcareer.com

Mike Edwardss last blog post..Ryan and Jessica’s Decision – Part III

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vered
June 30th, 2008 at 12:13 pm

I’ve been working really hard on being more grateful. It’s one of my major goals. Thank you so much for this post. I LOVE the idea of a gratitude journal. I think it might be just what I need!

vereds last blog post..Best Shot Monday: Random Thoughts On Paper Mache, Connectivity and Television

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Simon Hill
June 30th, 2008 at 1:01 pm

Thanks Marelisa for your post. I have taken away from it the personal challenge to be grateful more proactively.

Simon

Simon Hills last blog post..Happiness is a quiet nap in the sun…

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Bamboo Forest
June 30th, 2008 at 1:01 pm

I love this article.

I think increasing ones gratitude is one of the most important goals of life – unquestionably. Not only does it make us happier, I’d also argue that it makes us have more humility. If we can’t be appreciative for what we have it’s as if we’re declaring we deserve more. It’s great to seek out more, as that’s also part of life. But… Doing so already being really grateful and joyful for what we have now is the way to go, I think.

Bamboo Forests last blog post..Making People Feel Appreciated can Make You Rich

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Marelisa
June 30th, 2008 at 1:08 pm

Hi Vered. I’m thinking of getting a charm bracelet to be my reminder that I should live in constant gratitude. This past Saturday I asked my three year old nephew what three things he was grateful for, and he loved the idea. After he reached three he just kept going! And then he wanted to know what I was grateful for (of course, one of the things I said was that I was grateful for him)

Marelisas last blog post..How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

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Hunter Nuttall
June 30th, 2008 at 1:14 pm

I have one of those purple bracelets, and I’m trying to do the 21 days. I thought it would be easy. It’s not!

Hunter Nuttalls last blog post..Free Ebook: Memoirs Of A Gaijin

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Marelisa
June 30th, 2008 at 1:17 pm

Hi Simon: I’m glad you enjoyed post. Proactive gratitude, I like that.

Marelisas last blog post..How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

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Marelisa
June 30th, 2008 at 1:19 pm

Hunter: Do you keep having to change it from one wrist to the other and starting all over again? I can pretty much stop myself from complaining or criticizing outloud, what I need to work on is doing it in my head.

Marelisas last blog post..How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

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Amanda Linehan
June 30th, 2008 at 3:49 pm

What’s great about gratitude is that even on the worst days there is always something to be thankful for, and usually there is more than one thing. No wonder gratitude helps you to be a little happier – you’re focusing on the good in your life even when things aren’t going great.

Amanda Linehans last blog post..Be Idle and Acheive

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C.G. Walters
June 30th, 2008 at 5:12 pm

Thank you, Marelisa. A wonderful sharing!
Many blessings to you and all you hold dear,
CG

C.G. Walterss last blog post..What is Happiness?

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Marelisa
June 30th, 2008 at 7:01 pm

Hi Bamboo: I agree that learning to focus and acknowledge all of the good in your life is an important goal. I’m glad you enjoyed the article!

Marelisas last blog post..How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

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Marelisa
June 30th, 2008 at 7:02 pm

Many blessings to you as well C.G.

Marelisas last blog post..How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

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Sara
June 30th, 2008 at 7:04 pm

Talking to others can help, too. They’ll point out things you’ve long since taken for granted! I like the charm bracelet idea; I’d like something tangible to remind me to be grateful on a daily basis.

Saras last blog post..Writing Down the Rabbit Hole: Eight Ways to Keep Your Blogging Habit Simple

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Marelisa
June 30th, 2008 at 7:05 pm

@Amanda: Sometimes all you’ll be able to write down on your gratitude journal are things like having enough to eat and having a roof over your head, but you know, that’s already plenty! So I completely agree with you that even during bad times–perhaps especially during the bad times–we should focus on the good we have.

Marelisas last blog post..How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

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Marelisa
June 30th, 2008 at 8:15 pm

@Sara: I know what you mean, like when something goes wrong and you’re being hard on yourself and someone close to you points out all of the things that you did right. Other people can certainly help give you better perspective.

Marelisas last blog post..How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

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Marelisa
June 30th, 2008 at 8:16 pm

Thank you Mike. I completely agree: the more that you focus on the good, the more good will come into your life.

Marelisas last blog post..How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

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Shilpan | successsoul.com
June 30th, 2008 at 9:26 pm

Mare -

Years ago when I went for the graduate studies at the Penn State, my roommate was a Jewish guy. Everyday after waking up, he touched the earth and his body. Later when I asked, he explained that it’s a way to express gratitude for having another great day on this earth. Your article reminded me his sentence. I really enjoyed the post.

Shilpan

Shilpan | successsoul.coms last blog post..Albert Einstein’s 7 Lessons from the School of Hard Knocks

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Robin
June 30th, 2008 at 10:50 pm

Hi Marelisa – I love your article – I’ve just been reading about gratitude myself ;=)

I’m making a habit at the moment of feeling grateful all the time for things like the ground I’m walking on and the seat I’m sitting on – hopefully this will raise my vibration enough for me to perform a few more miracles (he he)

Robins last blog post..How I Found Immortality

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Barbara Swafford
June 30th, 2008 at 11:16 pm

Hi Marelisa,

What a great and well researched post.

I write daily in a gratitude journal. I write little, as well as big things. It keeps me focused and reminds me how truly blessed I am. For me, it makes all the difference in my attitude.

Barbara Swaffords last blog post..NBOTW Author Says “Life Is A Jungle”

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Eugene Williams | Power of Motivation BLOG
July 1st, 2008 at 12:14 am

I like the ways you shared practicing Gratitude.

Obviously, feeling of gratitude plays a key role in positive changes of our life.

Eugene Williams | Power of Motivation BLOGs last blog post..The Power of Belief

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Hunter Nuttall
July 1st, 2008 at 6:21 am

Yup, I keep switching it to the other wrist. Sometimes I’m about to complain and I catch myself in time, but sometimes it slips out before I notice.

Hunter Nuttalls last blog post..Free Ebook: Memoirs Of A Gaijin

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Lance
July 1st, 2008 at 10:47 am

This is so true Marelisa. On a small level, I experienced this just yesterday. I left for work (I was biking) in a rush, frustrated that I was running late. I ended up stopped at a traffic light longer than expected. So, in general I was just not very grateful by this time. As I rode on, I realized I should really be thankful for the opportunity I have to work, to bike, for my family, etc. My mood instantly changed, and I just felt so much better. And it was all because of the gratitude I envisioned in my life, not the perceived negatives.

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Dr. KC/DOCintheBiz
July 1st, 2008 at 11:39 am

Showing gratitude takes so much more than a “Thank you”. True appreciation comes from within and when you truly mean it and feel it, it can definitely have a major positive affect on your life! Great article! Doc KC

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chris
July 1st, 2008 at 3:15 pm

This is a scholarly work Mare. I felt like I was reading one of my college students paper while reading this. I can see how much time and effort you put into this article. Great Job!

chriss last blog post..Are You Patriotic?

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Ashutosh Didwania
July 4th, 2008 at 12:12 am

Great article!

A small spec of gratitude can indeed change the life for one and all around us.
I’m sure you would like my two cents on the topic as well. Try this out: http://intheorbit.blogspot.com.....kages.html

Ashutosh Didwanias last blog post..Coffee and ‘Corporate Tales’

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paresh
July 6th, 2008 at 4:35 am

great article.

pareshs last blog post..World’s leading vehicles ‘hearts’ are manufactured in Solapur……

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Al Gammate
September 26th, 2008 at 5:29 pm

Great article!

Gratitude is such an important topic. We need more good articles such as this one.

Practicing gratitude is one of the easiest and quickest ways to train your brain to think positive. If you think about it, there are always blessings and burdens in life, no matter what the situation is.

By practicing gratitude, your mind becomes focused on the good in your life. And as you know, whatever the mind focuses on, the mind attracts. That’s the law of attraction.

Do you want wealth, health, and happiness? Try thanking the Universe for all the blessings in your life, no matter how small or insignificant, and see what happens.

You need to do this daily, to get into the wealth, health, and happiness groove.

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Gilda Goldner
November 7th, 2008 at 9:15 am

I thought of this poem when I read the importance of GRATITUDE.

i thank you God for most this amazing…
e.e. cummings
i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any–lifted from the no
of all nothing–human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

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Karen
November 8th, 2008 at 9:07 am

Thank you for this blog. There are many ways that gratitude can change lives and I am grateful you have shared your thoughts. I have had my life changed by gratitude in so many ways. I am excited to see a new movie like “The Secret” coming out called “The Gratitude Experiment” I just saw the trailer for it. I hope it will discuss many of the thoughts that you have expressed. You should contact them to see if they have room for you to be involved. Any ways, thank you again. K.

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Kent
January 11th, 2010 at 7:38 pm
I saw the trailer as well. The Movie looks great. I am a big fan of Doug Vermeeren who also created The Opus. The Opus was wonderful and if The Gratitude Experiment is anything like The OPus it will be very inspiring. Does anyone know a specific release date or where there may be a screening in the Los Angeles area?

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Ananga Sivyer
February 17th, 2009 at 10:31 am

thank you for your contribution to the Living by Design blog carnival – your article has been included in our February 15th edition.

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amanda@choosing-life-my-way.com
November 16th, 2009 at 8:10 pm

This is a lovely post. I appreciate your optimism, and I agree with your attitude of looking for what’s good and beautiful in life- no matter what.

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positively present
November 27th, 2009 at 6:24 am

Gratitude really IS a life changer. Great post!!

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Farouk
November 29th, 2009 at 2:52 am

it makes a lot of sense, when you become grateful for the things you have your mind will automatically think positively and search for the good things instead of being focused on the bad ones

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Mark Harrison
November 29th, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Starting each day with gratitude can really make a difference – it is one of the most powerful practices for living a happy, entred and abundant life.

Thanks for the post.

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Hilary
December 1st, 2009 at 1:26 am

Hi Mare .. especially at this time of year .. we should be grateful for being in the free world, and having things that most people in this world do not have – the main one of these is choice.

By being grateful for all small mercies – saying thank you, a smile, a laugh, a little extra time, enter joyfully into the spirit of the season .. can all change others lives as well as our own.

Great post for December
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories

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Waves of Gratitude
January 7th, 2010 at 9:59 am

Gratitude CAN change your life! It changed the lives of our company’s co-founders. Cheryl Nordyke and Kim Wierman built the company on the strong belief that everyone should have the opportunity to “wear” symbols of gratitude that have style and meaning. The mission of Waves of Gratitude is to offer products that inspire people to remember the importance of expressing gratitude. “After finding myself unemployed for the first time at the age of 42, I went searching for a piece of jewelry to remind me to be grateful regardless of my situation,” said Cheryl Nordyke, CEO. “When I was unable to find anything that spoke to me, Kim and I decided to create our own products that inspire and express our gratitude.”

Looking forward to connecting with more people who believe in the power of gratitude to change the world!

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Tez
January 19th, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Marelisa, thanks for this post. You did a great job of pulling together all the research and making it understandable and usable. And thanks to all of your visitors who left such warm and inspiring comments.

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Jennifer
February 6th, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Thank you so much for this article. It was well written. I think gratitude is so important to well-being. I’ve kept a gratitude journal and it really makes you focus on the positive all day long because you’re thinking “what am I going to write in my journal tonight.”

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