My mother and I have the traditional Hollywood mother-daughter relationship. My mother is the antagonist and I am the baby cub that simply falls in line. Sometimes I try to prove my womanhood but it really doesn’t make a difference. She will always see me as a four year old with a frog in my pocket.
My encounter with my mom involves her telling me what to do and her missile launching several random questions at me all at once. And, she will not, even if she is eating, allow me to get a word in.
She says things like: Do you have an iron? Have you gained any weight? Did you ever return that library book? Did you lock your door? When are you going to start getting allergy shots again? Does your seatbelt work? Please do not speak to strangers or pick up hitch hikers. And, please do not accept emails from strange people asking you for money online.
She knows that I purposely avoid the news because I don’t want to hear about who killed who or how horrible the economy is. I am a sensitive yogi. Somehow she manages to brief me about all natural disasters and child slayings because, “I need to know what’s going on in the world.” And, she reminds me of things I don’t want to think about like ex-boyfriends I really want to forget and my car insurance bill being due. After every Dr. OZ’s show she calls to tell me what I need to incorporate in my diet if I “really” want to be healthy.
Needless to say, I am completely in love with this woman. She’s like a movie. But, sometimes, she pushes my buttons and pulls out my ugly side. At times, she makes me want to just run away or ignore her phone calls which makes me feel guilty and sad. She’s my mom. I owe her so much for being a great one. A few occurrences have happened lately that I deem as the universe reminding me to be nicer to my mother.
1. Mindy Kaling Decided to Make Her Mother Her Best Friend
I recently watched an interview between Mindy Kaling and Rainn Wilson on soul pancake (Youtube Channel.) Kaling was asked what was the best decision she has ever made? Her reply, “When I was 18 years old I decided to become best friends with my mother. She is great with guidance and really funny…She was my true best friend until the end of her life.”
That statement moved me. I agreed with Kaling greatly because who doesn’t know you better than your mother. Kaling also advised she still feels her mother’s presence to this day. That is one of the best things I have heard in a long time. So, I’ve decided to follow a celebrity’s lead and make my mom my best friend as well!
2. Over Hearing a Woman Being Rude to Her Mother
I was out at a restaurant with a friend and we were seated at a table next to a woman and her mother. I could not help but over hear the young woman speaking to her mother. She was snappy and rude. She interrupted her mom several time. Apparently, her mother tried to tell her a story. And, the young woman quickly and abruptly advised that she heard that story. I thought to myself “Am I like that with my mom?”
Um. Yeah, it’s happened. I am never that quiet that insolent. But, I often tell her I’ve heard a story before or I get angry when she advises I shouldn’t leave the house at 7pm because it’s “too late” although I am a grown woman.
I really wanted to tell the young woman she should be nicer to her mother because you only get one. But, then I had to ask myself: Am I exceptionally patient with my mother?
3. The Movie Guilt Trip
Barbara Streisand and Seth Rogen play in a hilarious movie about a son and his mother travelling across the United States. The movie was fantastic. Streisand was the typical love-smothering mother annoying her son with questions and directives. I swear my mother helped them write it. There was a magical part of the movie when they became friends and started having a bunch of hearty fun. That’s the thing about my mom, she is so much fun. And, we have so much in common (clearly.) She loves music and art. She is full of energy. And, is truly one of the funniest people I know with the most infectious laugh. I see myself in her every single time I’m around her.
Consequently, I have decided despite how much my mother drives me crazy to humbly be more patient with her and to remember she comes from a place of love. She gave me the gift of life and love so that’s my gift to her: Pure love.