Why You Should Move Away
Well, it has been a week since my last post - an interlude far longer than I normally plan. It has, however, been a big week for me. A week of big decisions that will affect the rest of my life. This past week I committed to moving overseas for a number of years. We leave in 6 weeks time. My fiancee, Kathryn, is from Vancouver and we are moving there so that she can be closer to her family after having lived in Australia for 3 years.The following are some reasons why you might consider moving overseas:
Love
In this age of global travel and communication it is becoming more and more common for people from different countries to fall in love and form a relationship. It is a simple fact if you are to physically stay together in this situation, at least one of you will have to live away from your home (I say at least because you may of course choose to live somewhere that neither of you is from).
Freedom to Find Yourself
If you live in the city or town where you grew up, the way in which you are living your life may be heavily influenced by others. The following are 2 examples where this can be a negative influence:
- Family: you may feel pressure from your family, in particular your parents, to live your life in a certain way. This can related to study choices, career paths and sexual preferences. Moving to another city can help you escape these pressures so you can fully explore what life has to offer you.
- Friends: are all your close friends those who you grew up with? If so, you may be inadvertently closing yourself off to forming new meaningful friendships. You may also find in a friendship based primarily on a shared history that who do not engage in conversations or activities that are of real interest to you.
Chase Your Passion
There are particular places across the globe where people with specific passions gravitate towards. Fashion is associated with Paris and New York. Finance with London. Movies with Hollywood. Surfing with Hawaii and Australia. IT with Silicon Valley.
If you have a particular passion, it is more than likely that there is somewhere better than your current place of residence to pursue that passion.
Opportunity
The following are some examples of opportunities that may not be available where you currently live:
- The chance to study at a particular university or a particular course.
- The ability to practice a foreign language in a country where that is the native language.
- The opportunity to progress your career by gaining international experience or by moving to where your company has it’s head office.
- The opportunity to volunteer for a cause that you consider important, such as endangered animals, disadvantaged children or wilderness preservation.
I am feeling some sadness at the prospect of being apart from my family for an extended period, but overall I am excited about what lies ahead. Vancouver here I come!
Has anyone else packed up their life and moved away from their home city or town?
Photo by creativesam.
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24 Comments
May 29th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Hmm I can’t say I have really lived overseas other than a short 6 month stint in East Java. Usually I was alone when I travelled so had to deal with a certain amount of loneliness, however I still found all travel experiences broadened my perspectives and helped me grow. So, I don’t regret any of it. Especially coming from Perth - it is a bit of a sleepy place compared to most so it helps to get out amongst the world. I have to say that I wouldn’t live anywhere else long term, but could certainly do a few more overseas stints from here.
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June 2nd, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Last time I lived in Canada I hit 10 months and got fairly home sick. It will be interesting to see how things turn out this time…. I’m excited about the move though. Perth is fantastic but just so far away from everything. Oh… and it doesn’t get snow
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June 24th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
[...] it companionship lah…or call it accompany or whatever but can the poor guy or gal ‘breathe’ when his or her partner is ‘choking’ on him or [...]
July 3rd, 2007 at 3:14 am
Living away from home has its perks. I’ve been doing it for most of my life
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July 7th, 2007 at 4:58 am
Good post!
My wife and I moved to Belize from the USA eight months ago. We envisioned making it our permanent home and sold our house in the USA. We still feel that we are on vacation in that it doesn’t truly feel like home. I suspect that will come with time. The move has been beneficial. The move has expanded our horizons tremendously. It has also helped us to understand the meaning of home. Most importantly the idea of thinking big by including the whole world in our dreams not just our own back yard.
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July 10th, 2007 at 5:44 am
Thanks for the responses everybody.
It is strange re-reading this post as I am now here in Vancouver. It was sad saying goodbye to my family but I am really excited about the future.
One thing I love about living in a different place is how things we find boring at home (driving around, shopping, etc) can take on a new, exciting dimension.
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July 22nd, 2007 at 8:36 am
I can definitely relate to this post. I just moved to Toronto from the U.S. Will be spending the next 4 years here in University while trying to manage a long distance relationship.
Its wonderful exploring a whole new place and being able to focus on my education without any distractions, but at times it does get lonely, especially when all your good friends are back home.
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September 11th, 2007 at 12:44 am
isn’t it difficult to get a job overseas?
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September 11th, 2007 at 1:11 am
Impossible question to answer as it depends on your experience, abilities, expectations, and the opportunities available in the place you move to. I am in Vancouver and the front page of the paper today was about the current labor shortage - they just can’t find enough people here to fill all the jobs available!
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September 23rd, 2007 at 9:54 pm
I moved from the East Coast to the West Coast of the US for love when I was younger. The relationship ultimately didn’t work out but moving so far away from everything and everyone I knew turned out to be a wonderful thing! I have learned so much about myself and expanded my attitudes, perspectives, social groups, etc. Yes, I miss my family, but we make the time to visit. I wish you the best of luck Peter! It’s my first time reading your blog and I like it very much and find it inspiring.
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September 23rd, 2007 at 10:18 pm
Thanks Roxy for the comment
. Your story is exactly what this article is about. Btw I have almost been in Vancouver for 3 months now - I’m loving it here.
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October 2nd, 2007 at 3:20 am
Great blog you have here. Sometimes it’s not a good idea to move away from home, too. If you are going along to be with someone you love, but it turns out that they have a bad agenda, involving socially isolating you and taking advantage of you, then, no, don’t move away. Those things happen, and I’d encourage people to be alert for them, and to retain the ability to be independent, and always some money of their own. I got burned that way some years ago and recovery took me many, many years.
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October 5th, 2007 at 9:45 am
Well peter your IWillchangeyourlife.com has snagged my attention and have been reading thro your posts in a rapid pace. And you know what…You are good…. Not pretentious….You are just what i was looking for to get my life off its track….
yeah ! u read that right…. By saying that i obviously do not intend to self-destruct but free my spirit…. Truly want to embrace life….. if only these spurts of clarity and life-force could be sustained by me…..
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November 20th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
i grew up in suburban indiana, ~30 minutes from chicago. after college i moved back home and soon knew that i had to get out. i moved to phoenix as a means to get away; that was 2.5 years ago. turns out i wasn’t happy here either =) i wasn’t working towards anything. i found a job with a good salary, had my own place, met new people.. it was fun but unfulfilling. i recently decided to pursue grad school and will be moving to new york city in a few months.
i don’t regret my time in phoenix.. i met a girl here who helped me realize that i’ve been stagnant — in fact she moved to new york herself almost 2 months ago. i picked up photography while i was here and drove myself to see the ocean for the first time. i learned meditation, yoga and massage therapy. (i imagine those will help a ton surviving in NYC!) i can’t wait to see what’s next.
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November 21st, 2007 at 3:53 am
Danceronthemidway,
Thanks for sharing your story! I love how you finish your comment: “i can’t wait to see what’s next” - this is how I feel as well. When we treat life as an adventure where anything could happen it is amazing how enjoyable it becomes.
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December 1st, 2007 at 11:41 pm
Hey Peter, hi everyone else
Ironically, but moving away or moving on from your current state of life helps you finally get a grip of your life. Sometimes (or isn’t it always?) we get so absorbed into our everyday lifes that we are missing the bigger picture - it is like a painter who is so concentrated on drawing the details and making them perfect that he doesn’t realize that when he steps back and looks at it, it doesn’t really fit well into the whole painting.
Yes, I had also packed up my life and moved years ago and intend to do it again…and again…and AGAIN :)))
There is so much to see and so much to do, so for me to settle down somewhere anytime soon seems impossible or at least waste of lifetime opportunities.
I’m 23 now. Born in Bulgaria, lived in Poland for 4 years as a kid, then went back home. After high school I decided I wanted to study abroad, so I won a scholarship and came to US. I was really quiet and shy kid, so it came as a surprise even to me that I made this decision so easily - I just knew I want to see and experience more. Then, after studying for 3 years here I decided to go for a semester in India, although it was going to put a lot of strains on my life - financially, education-wise, etc. - it wasn’t planned at all. But that was the best part about it :))) The minute I heard about this opportunity I knew I wanted to do it and no family member or friend (or rumors of nuclear contamination or diseases :}) could talk me out of it. Only I could have put limits on myself and I am glad I didn’t. To be honest with you there was another reason for me to go there - my life was going down in so many aspects at that time, so I just needed to run away…run away from the conventional way of thinking and habitual way of life that was making me stagnant. And it did help - now I have a purpose higher than go-to-work-make-money-and-go-back-home.
The first time I left home and came to the States, it changed my perspective about the world. The second time I left my “second home” and went to India it changed my perspective about myself. It was as if first I went out and opened myself and my eyes for the outside world and then I had to go back into myself and look deeper into my inner world.
So go out, move, be open to change - physically, mentally, emotinally… Beside seeing so many new things, meeting so many interesting people, gaining knowledge and widening your horizon it helps you realize who you are and what you should be striving for.
And as Peter mentioned in his article - don’t be afraid to leave people and things back home because being away from them helps you reinvent your relationships with them. Only after I moved to the other end of the world, I was able to truly appreciate my parents and actually the distance brought us closer - I stared telling them that I love them, sharing things with them, and now when I go back home we never fight anymore
So step back, move aside, go forward, jump up and down and turn around - look at life from all different perspectives and enjoy it! I promise it will be fun
Love and peace,
Sev
P.S. . I know this is way too long already but I just wanted to give one advice to people who are afraid to leave somebody or something they love behind - people often ask me don’t I miss my family or friends back home - I DON”T! I love them dearly, I write to them, I talk to them, I think of them, but I never miss them. Instead, I enjoy the company of the people or places I have around myself.
Good luck and happy travels in life!
The chances are that you are not compatible with only with a handful of people but with many, many more. So, by going somewhere you are not losing the friends you aready have - you are just gaining more
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December 2nd, 2007 at 2:01 am
Hi Sev,
Thanks for taking the time to share your story. I’m very impressed with all the travel you have already done! India never really appealed to me as a destination, but then I recently read a book called “Think, Pray, Love” in which the author, Elisabeth Gilbert, spends a few months living there in an ashram. After reading that book, I would love to travel to India.
Happy travels
Peter
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December 7th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
I relocated from Sydney to Melbourne nearly ten years ago now - like many of the previous commenters have said, I think landing in a different city (or country) you grow in so many ways that you never would have if you had styayed put.
Great blog btw!
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December 10th, 2007 at 8:09 am
Hello there! I’m a college student (Intl. Business major) and, recently, I made my decision to continue my studies in the Philippines. I’m doing it for most of the reasons you’ve stated above: the freedom to find myself and for opportunity. This blog entry and the story “Sev” left as a comment reaffirms my decision to go (I’ve had some pretty negative comments from people and it got me down a couple times — thank goodness though, I have the support of my family!).
So I thank you for writing this entry, and I hope to share my adventure (as I’d like to call it!) soon.
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February 6th, 2008 at 5:31 am
In 2006 I spent 6 months living in New Jersey, USA. Coming from perth, that was just beyond my wildest dreams! I was on a visa and had to come home after this time - this was possibly the saddest moment of my life! Before my trip, aged 21, i had never left the state or been on a plane. Well, one round the world ticket, eleven plane rides, one bout of food poisoning, immeasurable joy and countless new friends later, I am happy to say those six months i lived and worked the simple life were the best i have ever had.
I would live overseas in a heartbeat. The craving for the new and the different things in life is a flame that is impossible to extinguish.
Burn bright! I wish you the best of luck in vancouver…
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February 6th, 2008 at 6:17 am
Hi Jessica,
Thanks! Everything is going great here in Vancouver. I love living in a different place - even the ordinary becomes interesting. Perth is a great city, but as you know it is just so far away from everything. Here I feel like I am in the middle of everything. There are plenty of Aussies here on 1 year working holiday visas (I originally came over on one of these) so you should look into Canada to satisfy your craving for travel
.
Peter
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February 22nd, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Yep, I moved from Tehran (the capital of Iran) to Vancouver in 1998. Huge cultural/language differences and huge transition from a middle eastern oppressed country to a relatively democratic place… and totally the best decision I ever made in my life!
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April 25th, 2008 at 11:26 am
It was great to read everyone’s thoughts… my boyfriend and I of two years have recently been thinking about moving in together either where I live (the US - Chicago) or where he lives (Canada - Quebec). It’s a tough decision to make, I’ve grown up with my entire large Irish Catholic family around me, and he grew up on a reservation in northern Quebec (he’s native). He came here to stay for three months and it was the best time we’ve ever had. I’m 22 and he’s 20, so figuring out financially what’s possible is hard… right now he’s an assistant manager for the bank on his reservation and when you live and work on a reservation the money you make is TAX FREE, not to mention the cost of living is considerably lower than here (I pay $1615 just for rent for a 3 bedroom apartment, they pay $350 for all utilities and their mortgage for a house). I’m just not sure I’ll be able to handle such a huge change in living, and being away from my family… but the two times I visited I had a great time, and really enjoyed myself. Plus it would be a great opportunity to learn French, and all about his culture!
I guess I’m just looking for advice on how to move past all of the things that scare me about leaving… leaving my friends, my family, and everything I’m comfortable with. I firmly believe that it’s nigh on impossible to learn who you are when you stay in the same place forever because you never challenge yourself, and I’d love to do that, but Canada just seems like a really daunting jump to me… Any advice??
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August 14th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
My name is Kristi and I’m 20 years old…I met my boyfriend online…He lives in California and I live in South Florida…I am moving to California in 2 weeks to be with him…This will also be my very first time living on my own..I have been to California twice to see him and I must say I pretty much fell in love with it over there…The only problem is that I am EXTREAMLY close with my family…I have 5 brothers and sisters and a neice and nephew on is 16 the other is 15 and I also have a neice/nephew on the way…at first I was soooooo excited and I still am but as the time gets closer I a getting more nervous as well…I really do want to go and I am still going I just wish i wouldnt be so nervous…I think its because of how close I am to my family…I know its going to be very hard…The one thing I can say I a glad I did was this…Since we both have not had alot of time to really get this relationship going and we really dont know what eachother is really about yet I decided it would be a good idea for us to do like a 3 month trial..Probation I guess you could cal it..lol…and we both agreed that I will live there for 90 days and after the 90 days is up we will sit and have a talk and discuss how the last 3 months has been and from there decide if we should continue moving forward or if either one of us has decided its not for us we can put it out on the table and make plans for me to coe back home. or em to move out..Thinking of that has made e feel alot better b/c we can both go into this easily and if it doesnt work out then we will settle things the right way
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